Wayne Newton leaves the dance floor

Thank you, America. You avoided a mistake of Master P proportions. You sent Wayne Newton packing from Dancing With the Stars.

The master crooner just didn’t have the dance skills necessary for a competition like this, and I’m grateful that voters finally realized it. He should have gone home last week, but his popularity saved him.

This week was all about the ladies. Jennie Garth came back with a passion, after her fall last week. Her tango was angry and passionate, and the judges chose it as the showcase dance of the week.

Jane Seymour also poured her heart and soul into her dance, dedicating it to her mother, who passed away last week. Everyone in the ballroom was rooting for Jane. I can’t imagine trying to focus on a dancing competition when grieving for your mother, but she pulled it off. Judge Carrie Ann was reduced to tears following Seymour’s beautiful performance.

Mel B, Marie and Sabrina also shined. I still think Sabrina is the one to beat.

Of the guys, Cameron and Helio are my top picks. Pretty Boy Floyd needs to work on his posture, and Mark, well, he’s sometimes an awkward mover.

During the elimination, Floyd and Wayne were in the hot seat. Floyd seemed beyond distressed. He wouldn’t even look at the judges, as they told him how to improve, if he made it through another week. I’m sure it’s tough when you try your hardest and still get harsh comments from the judges.

Billy Ray Cyrus returned to the show as a musical guest, and brought along his daughter Miley. They sang a lovely duet, as Maks and Karina did a dance that can only be described as foreplay. I felt dirty. Seriously, I wanted a cigarette after that sexy romp, and I don’t even smoke. Those two should always dance together professionally. Period.

The one thing I disagreed with this week was Len’s comment that this was the best season yet of Dancing With the Stars. Um, what show is he watching? We haven’t even seen a 10 on the scoreboard yet. Does he not remember Drew and Cheryl’s Thriller performance or Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy? Or how about Mario and Karina’s sinful mambo? Or Apollo and Julianne’s sexy Cha-Cha-Cha? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go waste a few minutes at YouTube and watch some of those performances.

I think we can all agree that the results show is so full of fluff that it’s unbearable to watch without a DVR. The one part that I always enjoy are the audience interviews when they give their thoughts on the performances. But somebody dropped the ball this week. Lisa Rinna and her former partner Louis Van Amstel were there, but they didn’t chat.

Also, someone needs to clue in ABC and the cameramen that Cameron Mathison’s wildly popular former All My Children co-star Rebecca Budig has been in the audience twice. We’re yet to see a good shot of her rooting on her former co-star. As one of ABC’s most popular daytime drama couples, you’d think somebody there would recognize her, and if not her, her celebrity husband, the former Bachelor Bob Guiney. On Monday, Tom Bergeron was going on about the fact that two bachelors were in the audience, the twin brothers currently featured on this season’s The Bachelor. Unfortunately, he completely missed the fact that Guiney, the former Bachelor, was also in the audience a few seats back.

Finally, it was temporary co-host Drew Lachey’s last night. Samantha Harris is returning to the job, after giving birth. Am I the only one wishing Lachey would keep the gig? He’s so much funnier than Harris, and he has great chemistry with Bergeron. I’ll miss him.

One more thing, where are the Beverly Hills 90210 people to support Garth? The ballroom was full of them last year rooting for Ian Ziering. Paging Brandon, Dylan, and Steve. Kelly Taylor needs you.

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