Veronica Mars officially cancelled

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Do you think they heard that over at the CW?

News out of the Upfront presentation in New York is that the CW has officially cancelled Veronica Mars. I’ll be rocking in the fetal position, while you let that news digest.

CW president Dawn Ostroff told reporters that the show isn’t coming back, not even as a midseason replacement.

I know I should have expected it, but this is Veronica, one of the most well-written, plucky, fun characters on the tube. I never thought it would end like this.

I could pontificate at length about the sad state of television, when a show about Pussycat Dolls gets more viewers than an entertaining mystery drama. Or I could rage at the networks for putting a show about the Geico cavemen on its schedule and killing gems like Veronica and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.

But, honestly, I’ve done that, year after year when we lose quality TV shows like Freaks and Geeks and Jack and Bobby. Here’s the cold, hard, truth: The bottom line is ratings. And for some reason, the millions of TV viewers with Nielsen boxes apparently have horrid taste in television.

Here’s my proposal: I think we need to screen the Nielsen viewers, and make sure they’re qualified to make judgments about which shows to watch, as they ultimately force networks to determine which shows live and die.

Hey, you have to take a test to drive a car, why not a TV test to show your tastes, considering you’re inevitably going to control the fate of multi-million dollar shows and force us, the masses, to watch The Bachelor? Networks are taking the words of random viewers, despite the fact that their idea of entertainment could be monster trucks, wrestling and I Want to Marry a Millionaire.

If you’re a Nielsen viewer, I beg of you, this season, watch responsibly! It won’t help Veronica Mars, but it may keep another mindless, distasteful piece of TV balderdash off the air.

As for Veronica Mars, thank you Rob Thomas, cast and crew for giving us perfection. It’s too bad too few recognized it.

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Bravo to re-air past episodes of Friday Night Lights

by Jennifer Squires Biller

If you haven’t met Coach Taylor, Tim Riggins, and the rest of the Friday Night Lights gang, then now is your chance to catch the very first episode and others you’ve missed.

Starting tonight at 7 p.m. EST, the Bravo network will begin showing encore episodes of Friday Night Lights. The network will run the episodes every Friday and Saturday during March and April.

Here is the official press release from Bravo, as well as a link to the network’s Web site where you can get the schedule:

See it for the first time or all over again, beginning with a single episode on Friday, March 16 at 7:00 PM ET, followed by a triple serving beginning Saturday, March 17 at 2:00 PM ET. "Friday Night Lights" on Bravo continues every Friday (one episode at 7:00 PM) and Saturday (three back-to-back episodes beginning at 2:00 PM), culminating on Friday, April 13 at 7:00 PM ET/PT. Catch NBC's season finale on April 11 at 8:00 PM ET/PT.

For those of you who don’t get Bravo, you can catch up by watching old episodes online at NBC. The network made a smart move by making past episodes available online, as many TV fans are reluctant to tune in to a show if they’ve missed it from the beginning. Hopefully, the move will pay off, and Friday Night Lights will return to a new crop of viewers when it returns next week.

Before going on spring hiatus, Friday Night Lights hit a series low for ratings (5.13 million.) That’s not good news for those who love this show. Yes, that includes me. Need I remind you of what happened to my beloved Invasion when it was pulling in about 8 million viewers? Or how about Freaks & Geeks? Or Jack & Bobby?

You get the picture. If I’ve scared you, good. I’ll do what I have to do to get you to tell everyone you know about this show. The acting is superb, the plots realistic, the emotion real, and the drama intense.

Please, tell your friends about the greatness that is Friday Night Lights. If they give you this excuse: “I don’t want to watch a show about football.” Then, counter with this. “Hey, it stars the hot bomb guy from Grey’s Anatomy.”

What? These are critical times, Tubers. I’m not above pimping the Kyle Chandler eye candy.

Friday Night Lights returns with new episodes on NBC March 21 at 8 p.m. EST.

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Rob Lowe joins Brothers and Sisters

Rob Lowe is returning to television. The good news is that it’s not for a stinker-of-a-show like Dr. Vegas. Instead, Lowe is joining one of the season’s best new shows, Brothers and Sisters on ABC.

Lowe will play a Republican senator, who becomes a love interest for Calista Flockhart, according to TV Guide. He debuts on Nov. 19.

Lowe is most well-known to TV addicts for his role on The West Wing. But those of us who grew up in the 1980s will forever know him as Sodapop from The Outsiders and for his roles in Class and St. Elmo’s Fire.

Those of you who’ve been lukewarm toward Brothers and Sisters, believe me when I tell you the show has improved with each episode. (Greg Berlanti of Dawson’s Creek and Jack and Bobby fame is one of the executive producers.) Sally Field, Calista Flockhart and Dave Annable are the reasons to watch, and the newly added Treat Williams is — yes I’m going to say it — a real treat.

Catch Brothers and Sisters on ABC Sundays at 10 p.m. EST.

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Save Invasion campaign

by Jennifer Squires Biller

I have one thing to say to all of you Invasion fans working tirelessly to get the show back on the fall schedule. In the famous words of Cristina Yang of Grey’s Anatomy, “Good for you. Fight the power!”

When I signed the online petition, earlier this week, it had more than 16,400 signatures. That’s impressive for only one week up and running. Fans have flooded TV show-message boards, recruiting any Invasion fans to join the campaign. It may seem like David-Goliath odds to get ABC to reverse its cancellation decision, but these fans aren’t going down without a fight. Neither am I.

In my job as a television critic the past few years, I’ve watched a lot of horrible television, and I’ve watched some inspirational, groundbreaking television. When those rare programs come along, it seems more often than not, they rarely make it long enough to become a footnote in popular-culture history. I’m so tired of year-after-year unique, quality television shows being dumped, in favor of silly reality shows, unoriginal procedural-crime shows and mindless sitcoms with annoying laugh tracks. The death of Invasion is the last straw.

I ranted when they canned Jack and Bobby. I asked why when they cancelled Freaks and Geeks. I angrily accepted the inevitable when they prematurely ended Ed, Felicity, and Angel. And I barely had time to get attached to Love Monkey and LAX before they got the ax. But I refuse to let Invasion join this list of shows that died before their time, without inciting you, the viewers, to do something about this trend. It comes down to ratings, folks. So, please, when these kinds of shows make it on to the television schedule, watch them.

The bottom line is that networks renew shows that get ratings. So, why didn’t enough folks watch Invasion? I call it bad timing. First, in late summer when previews and ads are pivotal for creating buzz about new shows, Invasion took an early hit. The pilot episode and plot setup was rooted in a hurricane, not exactly something anyone wanted to promote or advertise, after the still-raw devastation of Katrina. Second, the show was incorrectly tagged as a Lost clone. The two shows couldn’t be farther apart in genre, in my opinion. Third, Invasion was unfairly labeled as just another sci-fi drama, and some critics unfairly grouped it in a class with the two other debuting sci-fi dramas of the fall, the yawn-worthy Surface and Threshold. So, chalk the low ratings up to timing and the fact that I still haven’t figured out what possesses the viewing public to tune in week after week to watch the King of Queens, but not thought-provoking, suspenseful shows such as Invasion.

I’m not giving up hope yet, especially after reading in TV Guide that the plan for next season was to turn up the romantic tension between Russell and Mariel. Curses. I’d been waiting all season for that. I did “see the lights,” ABC, and I want to see them again. So, here’s hoping that ABC will “see the light” and give Invasion a reprieve. Hmm…I’m sensing a campaign slogan here, people.

If you’re an Invasion fan, or even if you’re not and want a second chance to see an original suspenseful drama, please visit these links and let your voice be heard.

The online petition:
http://www.petitiononline.com/33030/petition.html

Fans are organizing a campaign here:
http://www.saveinvasion.net/ and also here http://www.invasion-forum.com/


Contact info for ABC:
SNAIL MAIL:
Mr. Steve McPherson President of Entertainment ABC, Inc. 500 S. Buena Vista Street Burbank, CA 91521-4551
ABC's ONLINE FORM:
http://abc.go.com/site/contactus.html
ABC'S PHONE NUMBER:
818-460-7477, follow automated response to Invasion messages

See what else Tube Talk Girl has been saying about Invasion by clicking here.

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Invasion cancelled

by Jennifer Squires Biller

ABC cancelled Invasion, according to Variety. Nooooo! Rocking. In. Fetal. Position.

Rumors are swirling that the CW or SciFi network may pick it up. I refuse to believe that any network would toss out such a high-quality drama. (Denial, Tubers, it ain’t just a river. Rest in peace Jack & Bobby.)

If some network doesn’t pick up Invasion after Wednesday’s incredible episode, I’m convinced the people making these programming decisions have been invaded by hybrids themselves.

Seriously, how fantastic was this week’s show? The scenes of pandemonium when the hybrids rounded up the humans gave me chills, with the strong parallels to the Nazi concentration camps. I think I speak for all of us when I say, “Don’t go into the lights, Larkin!”

And is it just me or can Mariel not keep her hands off her yummy ex-husband lately? I’m not judging, folks. I’m just saying. But who can blame her? I don’t think I could keep my hands off him either. Stay tuned to Tube Talk for news on Invasion’s fate.

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The frog was fired!

August 3, 2005

Michigan J. Frog was fired.

He croaked his last croak last week as the WB mascot, according to WB executives.

I know, I’m hopping mad, too.

Michigan had been the cartoon mascot of the WB network since its debut in 1995. In the early years of the network, he often popped up in WB commercials, dancing across the screen with his top hat, cane and infectious smile.

Network officials decided to nix the frog as its mascot this year because the frog gave the impression that WB programming wasn’t geared toward adults, according to WB publicity director Natalie Anderson. I spoke to Anderson Monday about the move to kill the adored amphibian.

“We personally don’t hate Michigan,” she said. “We love Michigan, but we felt that he was adding a juvenile element to the network that wasn’t an accurate picture of the network.”

OK, then how do you explain Blue Collar TV?

Michigan had a longer career in television than most, almost 50 years. He made his debut in 1955 in the Looney Tunes cartoon One Froggy Evening. His affection for ragtime music and his rendition of Hello, My Baby made him a popular icon.

The WB may be trying to prove that it’s more than just a teen network by whacking Michigan, but frankly, I don’t think firing a defenseless frog is the answer. I’m in the highly coveted 25-34 age demographic they are working so hard to lure, and honestly, the first time I ever watched the WB in 1997 was because of a commercial featuring that charming frog. He’s much hipper than a peacock mascot (NBC) or an eyeball (CBS,) don’t you think?

Only time will tell if the frog-free WB will attract more adult viewers. Personally, I think it will take more than killing the mascot to get viewers to make the leap to the WB.

Meanwhile, does someone have the number for PETA?


Jack & Bobby DVD news - To those of you who’ve e-mailed me asking about the possible DVD release of Jack & Bobby, I passed on your wishes to Anderson. She said she knew of no plans yet to release it on DVD.

After passing on your comments of disappointment about the cancellation, Anderson had this to say: “It was one of those shows where the numbers weren’t there. The critics loved it, but we couldn’t get people to watch.”

Tell me about it. I tried, too.

As for this fall’s lineup on the WB, I’ll be receiving a tape soon of the pilot for Supernatural, the network’s most promising new show. It’s supposedly the scariest/creepiest thing to ever hit television. Finally, something to challenge The Surreal Life.

Originally published 8/3/05 in The Exponent Telegram newspaper.

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Fretting over network decisions

May 25, 2005

The world has gone mad.

Think I’m exaggerating? Then explain to me how silly shows such as The Bachelor, Blue Collar TV, and Pamela Anderson’s Stacked can be renewed for another season, but quality dramas like Joan of Arcadia, Judging Amy, and American Dreams are canned.

It’s madness, people. There is no other explanation.

Last week, the network honchos announced their fall schedules. This week, I’m on the verge of firing off nasty letters to network executives.

The cancellation that hurts most is the compelling Jack & Bobby. Why the WB cancelled this critically acclaimed new drama, but renewed the tired Charmed for an eighth season, is puzzling. I’m convinced those Charmed Halliwell ladies really are witches with magical powers. It would explain how their show remains on the network year after year, while other fresh shows such as Angel and the aforementioned piece of perfection are shown the door.

Other cancellations include the unique Tim Daly drama Eyes and Taye Diggs’ much-hyped Kevin Hill. I guess we’ll never see Kevin regain custody of poor little Sarah.

Even more troubling than the cancellations, was the news that television’s best sitcom, and my personal favorite, Scrubs wasn’t even on NBC’s fall lineup. Supposedly, is being saved for midseason, executives claim. If these wacky doctors don’t see the light of day again, you will find me in a fetal position crying for my mama.

Arrested Development fans, breathe easy. The Bluths will live to see another season. Although ratings aren’t what the network had hoped for, the show will go on this fall. It moves to 8 p.m. on Mondays.

If you’re planning on taking a class this fall or working late on Thursday’s, think again, unless you have TiVo. The coveted 8 p.m. Thursday timeslot will once again be the year’s most competitive hour of television. Alias, Survivor, The O.C., Smallville, and Joey all go head to head.

Here are some other noteworthy time changes: Boston Legal moves to Tuesday at 10 p.m. on ABC. Grey’s Anatomy will keep the 10 p.m. Sunday slot, post Desperate Housewives. Lost moves to 9 p.m. on Wednesdays. And The West Wing changes nights this fall, moving to Sundays at 8 p.m. on NBC.

Although UPN renewed my favorite spunky detective Veronica Mars, the new timeslot may seal her fate. Veronica will be going up against ratings juggernaut Lost at 9 p.m. on Wednesdays.
There is some good news, believe it or not. Angel star David Boreanaz is returning to television. He’s been cast in the new FOX crime drama Bones. Boreanaz plays a former Army special-ops soldier who teams up with a female forensic anthropologist and novelist to solve crimes. The show is scheduled for 8 p.m. on Tuesdays.

Just so you don’t think I’m being too harsh on the networks for their programming choices, I offer this evidence. NBC is debuting a new reality show this summer to keep us entertained: I Want To Be A Hilton, as in “that’s hot” socialite Paris Hilton. Her mother is taking 14 young men and women and teaching them how to be socialites in New York City.

I know. It’s enough to make you fire off a letter, too.

Originally published 5/25/05 in The Exponent Telegram newspaper.

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Season finales: May shockers

May 11, 2005

May is the time of year when television critics get downright giddy. Well, not me, of course, because I would never let fictional TV shows affect my mood.

Not buying it? You’re right. Boone’s death on Lost sent me running for a box of Kleenex. And watching Dr. Cox on Scrubs humorously go off on one of his co-workers puts a little extra spring in my step. So, it’s safe to say that during the month of May, I’m usually in a good mood, because that’s when viewers get to see the year’s most exciting episodes.

Networks save their best work for the sweeps period and then follow that up with the season finales. Usually, the finales try to shock audiences. This year, some shows look like they won’t disappoint. We’re in store for some jaw-dropping finales.

Lost – We may finally get an explanation of Walt’s wacky powers, find out the contents of the secret hatch and discover what kind of monster is roaming the island. (Personally, I haven’t ruled out Vincent the dog as the possible bloodthirsty beast.) More startling, though, are rumors that Boone may not be the only survivor pushing up sand, soon. Do you think it’s too late to send Sawyer a note in a bottle to not get on that deathtrap raft?

Jack and Bobby – Film stars Tim Robbins and Lou Diamond Phillips will guest star. Robbins will be the voice of the future president. And Phillips is apparently the incarcerated father of Jack and Bobby. Rumors abound that we may find out how Jack dies, too. For me and the other three people watching this show, these episodes may be the last we see. The network still hasn’t announced whether it will renew this piece of perfection. While critical praise has been abundant, ratings have not.

The O.C. – I lost interest in the Orange County gang a couple months ago, but I tuned in last week just in time to see Kirsten’s shocking car accident. The finale will deal with Kirsten’s drinking problem. (She’s about as good at hiding her liquor addiction as Julie Cooper-Nichol is at parenting.) And it seems Caleb is working overtime to tick off everyone in Orange County. Trust me, it’s never a good sign to get the entire town mad at you so close to the end of the season. Can you say, “Who shot J.R.?”

Las Vegas –The Montecito Hotel and Casino is up for sale, and Dean Cain returns as Sam’s husband. Will Danny, Mike, Nessa and the gang all get to keep their jobs working for the new owners? Let’s hope. Jon Bon Jovi, John Elway, and Gladys Knight will guest star in the finale. And it appears an explosion may rock the casino on Las Vegas. I don’t think I’m alone in saying, Danny, please take cover.

JAG finale - Due to last week’s timely Mother’s Day column, I didn’t get a chance to dish on the JAG finale. As far as happy endings go, JAG creator Donald Bellisario got it right. Harm proposed. Mac said yes. And millions of viewers breathed a collective sigh of relief. We were even treated to some flashbacks of their decade-long tortured love story. In typical Bellisario fashion, the series ended on a note of uncertainty. The betrothed couple flipped a coin to decide which of them would give up their military careers to follow the other one. I had hoped we’d get to see some familiar faces in the finale, namely Admiral Chegwidden, Tiner, and Sgt. Victor “Gunny” Galindez. But, overall, the final show was a nice salute to loyal viewers.

Originally published 5/11/05 in The Exponent Telegram newspaper.

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Grey's Anatomy, Reba and The O.C

April 20, 2005

The best thing about writing a television column is that fellow tubers consistently suggest shows they want me to watch. Sometimes, the result is a stinker. (Hello, Father of the Pride.) Other times, bliss. (Jack & Bobby, you rock.)

This week I checked out a show that friends, colleagues and readers have urged - and in some cases bribed - me to watch. Here’s my take on Grey’s Anatomy.

I didn’t watch the first couple of episodes because the prospect of another procedural medical drama didn’t excite me. But after seeing the extraordinary ratings the show has been pulling and hearing friends rave about how good it is, I forced myself to tune in. Wow, am I glad I did.

Grey’s Anatomy has all the typical heartbreaking medical cases of any cookie-cutter medical drama, but unlike its contemporaries, it has the rare benefit of being character driven instead of plot driven. And these are some interesting characters. They’re witty and sharp-tongued. They effortlessly deliver some laugh-out-loud one-liners.

The show is named for lead character Meredith Grey, but it gives equal time to the supporting players. In a nutshell, Grey’s Anatomy explores the challenges young doctors face in a hospital and in their personal lives. The story is told with an underlying sarcasm and humor that culminates into compelling drama.

An added perk is ‘80s teen star Patrick Dempsey, who is all grown up as a flirty surgeon, and is more than intrigued with Grey.

I liked the show, despite that I’m bitter it took the slot of the brilliant dramedy Boston Legal. Grey’s Anatomy airs at 10 p.m. on Sundays on ABC. Check it out.

Reba - Did anyone else catch Dolly Parton on Reba last week? I’ve never watched the show before, but as a longtime fan of Parton, I had to check it out. The show itself wasn’t that memorable, but Parton was funny. And I’m convinced she’s discovered the fountain of youth. She looked amazing. It’s hard to believe she’s 59. No kidding. Her ridiculously small Barbie-doll waist would make even Scarlett O’Hara envious.

The O.C.- The O.C hit a creative sophomore slump this year, but it appears it’s on the way back to greatness. Billy Campbell has been a real addition to she show. And Tate Donovan is returning to Orange County as the likeable Jimmy Cooper. Add in the fact that Kirsten has been knocking back a little to much wine lately, and we have all the makings of good soapy drama. And how great was the ‘80s music this week? Last season it was Journey and last week, Poison and Whitesnake. Apparently, the writers of The O.C. are children of the ‘80s, too

Taxes - After joining all the other procrastinators on April 15 to deliver my signed tax return to the post office, I’m convinced a TV sitcom set in a post office would be hilarious primetime gold. Seriously folks, there’s a reason the term “going postal” made its way into mainstream English.

Originally published 4/20/05 in The Exponent Telegram newspaper.

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The best and worst of TV in 2004

December 29, 2004

While you’ve been busy stuffing your Christmas goose and threatening Santa with lawsuits for bringing you fruitcake yet again, I’ve been reflecting on the past year in television. From embarrassing to outrageous, one thing is for sure: 2004 was no bore.

Best guilty pleasure: Pimp My Ride on MTV. If only this show had existed in 1989, my red Chevy Chevette with fog lights could have been sweet.

Best evidence that there is intelligent life form on Earth: Ken Jennings’ winning streak on Jeopardy.

Best proof aliens exist: Anna Nicole Smith at The American Music Awards. What was that?

Worst TV moment: Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction at the Superbowl.

Best TV moment: The return of scripted programs scoring with viewers, instead of reality shows.

Best scary, make-your-hair-stand-up moment: The masked carver stalking Sean in the shower on Nip/Tuck.

Tackiest commercial: Spoofing the feed-the-children commercials to peddle pick-up trucks.

Most ridiculous cancellation: Angel. Enough said.

Funniest presidential campaign moment: The yawning boy at the George W. Bush rally. His boredom made him a star.

Most embarrassing moment: Ashlee Simpson busted for lip-synching on Saturday Night Live. And to finish off the Milli Vanilli moment, that jig she called a dance looked like she was stepping on hot coals.

Best show you’re not getting: Scrubs. Dr. Cox rules, people.

Best reason to love David Letterman and Jay Leno: The Tony Danza Show. I’ll always have a special place in my heart for Tony because of his Who’s the Boss? years, but his newest gig is evidence that not every nice guy can pull off an entertaining talk show.

Best good-bye: Tom Brokaw signing off after 23 years as the evening news anchor on NBC.

Worst moment of violence: The NBA Pistons-Pacers brawl. With all the fighting currently in the world, grown adults acting like imbeciles is inexcusable.

Best excuse to stay home on Friday nights: Harmon Rabb, Jr. in uniform on JAG.

Best commercial attempt that doesn’t work: Ovaltine. No matter how many cute kids with mittens come running in from the snow begging for this “rich, creamy” hot-cocoa-like drink, I’m not buying it. No matter how you dress it up, it’s still Ovaltine.

Best reason to learn to set your VCR: Wednesday nights are packed full of good TV. It’s home to Lost, Smallville, Kevin Hill, Jack and Bobby and The West Wing.

Most overly dramatic show promos: ER. The network has overused the dramatic promo device so much that it’s no longer effective. Every week can’t possibly be the biggest ER ever.

Worst new show: Father of the Pride. I’m usually a sucker for animation, but The Simpsons this isn’t. It started strong, but took a nosedive.

Most welcome recurring guest star: Ed may have been canceled, but Thomas Cavanaugh didn’t get stuck in Stuckeyville. He’s played a big brother on Jack and Bobby and Scrubs.

Most unnecessary replay: The networks relentless airing of Howard Dean’s exuberant speech.

Best series finale: Friends. Despite all the buzz, it was a fitting end for a fan favorite.

Best series debut: Lost. Show me anyone who sat through the first heart-stopping 20 minutes and isn’t hooked.

Worst cancellation: LAX. I’m still scratching my head why this fun hour of TV didn’t score with viewers. It was Heather Locklear, folks.

Best fast talker: Seth Cohen of The O.C. If you don’t have closed captioning on your TV, you’re probably missing most of Seth’s hilarious rants.

Best frivolous hour of TV: Las Vegas. With all the guest stars, it’s starting to rival The Love Boat.

Worst wasted moment: Donna’s accident on The West Wing. If ever there was a moment for Josh to ‘fess up his feeling for his lovely assistant, you’d think almost getting killed in a car explosion would be it.

Most over-hyped event: Trista and Ryan’s wedding. It was everywhere. It also set the trend for the year: Pink was the new black.

Best philanthropic moment: Any episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

Best surprise: Oprah giving away cars to her studio audience.

Best tribute: Coverage of former President Ronald Reagan’s funeral.

Best reason to watch TV during the summer: The Olympics.

Happy New Year, Tubers!

Originally published 12/29/04 in The Exponent Telegram newspaper.

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Boston Legal: Boston's best

October 27, 2004

If I’m ever accused of a crime, I’m heading to Boston.

Any TV viewer worth his remote knows that all the best attorneys practice in Beantown. Well, at least the brilliant ones created by TV genius David E. Kelley. From Ally McBeal to Bobby Donnell to Denny Crane, it’s a good chance that whatever crimes you’re accused of, the eccentric lawyers from Kelley’s universe have probably done worse.

In his latest drama Boston Legal, we’re introduced to more oddball attorneys, who are winners in the courtroom. The evidence: one character had a breakdown and showed up at the office without his pants or briefs. Boston Legal is vintage Kelley and reminiscent of his former shows L.A. Law, Ally McBeal and The Practice.

Kelley has a knack for casting fantastic actors in his dramas, and Boston Legal doesn’t fall short. William Shatner is loose canon Denny Crane. James Spader steals every scene, as the morally challenged Alan Shore. And Mark Valley is utterly perfect, as the fast-talking Brad Chase.

What makes this show different from the other procedural dramas cluttering the airwaves is that it’s character driven. We get to know what makes these people tick outside the office. We aren’t limited to the legal details of their latest case. Kelley is a master at intertwining the personal lives of his characters into complex legal plots.

However, as good as this show is, I’m cautious about getting too involved. Kelley has a history of starting shows that are divine and then going places I hate to mention. Before you know it, your favorite character is bleaching his hair blonde and hanging out with Robert Palmer girl look-alikes.

There was a time when Kelley could do no wrong in my eyes. After all, he created Doogie Howser M.D, that hilarious dancing baby on Ally McBeal and turned an entire generation onto the soothing sounds of Barry White. But that was all before half the cast of The Practice suddenly disappeared, and neurotic Ally started dating Jon Bon Jovi.

If you like Kelley’s work, try Boston Legal. You won’t be disappointed.

Since the show is set in Boston, I’d love to see other characters from the Kelley universe do some guest spots. Can you imagine the Biscuit going up against Spader? It would be Godiva-chocolate good.

Boston Legal airs at 10 p.m. on Sundays on ABC.

Schedule changes – There must be some kind of TV rule that if a show is good, it must air on Wednesday nights. Each year, it’s the same dilemma. I’m already trying to juggle Lost, Smallville, The West Wing and Kevin Hill. Now, this week, two of my new favorite shows are joining the already crowded Wednesday lineup. It’s enough to make a gal invest in TiVo or swear off TV altogether. Jack and Bobby is getting killed on Sundays by ratings juggernaut Desperate Housewives, so it’s being moved to 9 p.m. on Wednesdays. LAX also makes the move and will air at 8 p.m. on Wednesdays. NBC executives must have lost their minds to put the struggling LAX up against this year’s water cooler show Lost and the respectable Smallville. Are they trying to get it cancelled? The good news is I’ll only need to watch TV on Wednesdays. If you don’t have a VCR, I feel for you. Trying to choose between Lost, Smallville, and LAX is more distressing than Clark Kent with a hunk of Kryptonite.

A pathetic plea – It’s not often I beg, but desperate times you know. I implore you TV lovers, please, please, please watch Jack and Bobby and LAX. Sadly, neither show is scoring noteworthy ratings. It’s not often good, scripted shows make it to the small screen. It would be a shame if these two gems get cancelled to make room for more reality TV. Jack and Bobby is intelligent and heartwarming. LAX is good, clean fun. Don’t miss them.

Originally published 10/27/04 in The Exponent Telegram newspaper.

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New fall shows to watch: Jack & Bobby, LAX, and Joey

September 15, 2004

I’m no Roger Ebert. However, when it comes to choosing fresh TV programs that entertain, I can hold my own.

As I dove into several shows that premiered this week, it occurred to me that I need a rating system to convey the best and worst to you, my loyal readers. So I’ve come up with a Tube Talk rating guide to steer you down the bumpy path known as fall TV season. That way, you’ll know a stinker such as Coupling before you invest 30 minutes of your life that you’ll never get back.

Thank me later.

Four stars: Do NOT miss this show. Use extreme measures if necessary, including hiding if visitors ring the doorbell, bribing a neighbor to record it for you if you haven’t mastered your VCR and screening phone calls. Or, just become completely irrational and don’t leave home when it’s on.

Three stars: It’s good, not great. Catch it if you can.

Two stars: If you’re home with nothing to do, turn it on.

One star: It’s so bad; you’ll want to shut off the TV and write an angry letter to the network that aired it.

I’ll use this rating guide the next few weeks, as new shows debut. So study it; there will be a pop quiz later.

Jack & Bobby - Four stars. Whatever you do, don’t miss this show. It’s that good. I’m talking hot Krispy-Kreme-doughnut good. I admit I almost didn’t tune in because the title implied a political story we all know too well. But this isn’t the Kennedy story. That became obvious in the first few minutes. This story of Jack and Bobby is told in compelling flashbacks with narration, flip-flopping between the future and present day. It’s The Wonder Years meets The West Wing. Newcomer Matt Long shines, as does Christine Lahti. This was the best new show I saw all week, on any network. If you missed its debut Sunday, don’t despair. I spoke with a WB representative Monday, and she told me The WB will air the first episode again Thursday at 9 p.m.

LAX - Three stars. It didn’t exactly restore my faith in airport security, but it did entertain. Heather Locklear never disappoints. At times, she was channeling Amanda Woodward. Blair Underwood was fantastic, too. The show received some unflattering early reviews, but I disagree. Locklear and Underwood have romantic chemistry. They have that love-hate Moonlighting bickering down to an art. And my favorite Australian, Paul Leyden, as Tony, had more screen time than I hoped. The airport-based show is a little bit comedy, a little bit drama, and a whole lot of suspense. Between the drunken pilots, escaped dog, backed-up runways, unclaimed child, and a bomb, LAX was flying high on adrenaline.

Joey - Three stars. Joey is doing fine. Die-hard Friends viewers will still enjoy his endearing personality and viewpoints. If subsequent shows are as good as the pilot, I think viewers will embrace Joey. There were several laugh-out-loud moments on Thursday’s premiere, involving his lack of Shakespeare comprehension, David Cassidy, and Joey’s audition for a new job, which proved that following the light isn’t as easy as one would think.

Father of the Pride - Two stars. I’m a sucker for an animated series, especially one with animals. The show was funny at times and the animation was excellent. My biggest complaint was that I had trouble understanding Siegfried and Roy with the strong accents. There were several funny moments too crass to recount involving the lions and tigers. Overall, the show didn’t leave me roaring with laughter, but it was cute. It has potential. The previews for upcoming episodes look even better than the premiere, but I don’t think this one will be king of the jungle when it comes to ratings.

Originally published 9/15/04 in The Exponent Telegram newspaper.

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Scheduling nightmares

September 1, 2004

Trouble is brewing at the Biller household. My better half is a Survivor addict. I prefer The O.C.

While this never presented a problem before, the geniuses in charge of TV scheduling decided to put these two ratings winners head to head this season. To further complicate matters, the new Friends spin-off Joey is on at the same time, as is the new WB show I wanted to check out, The Mountain.

So, even with two televisions, a satellite, and the poor man’s TiVo - the VCR- it’s not humanly possible to catch everything. Don’t worry. I’ll try. As your TV gal, I wouldn’t want to shortchange you. But you’ll have to forgive me if I miss a show here and there.

This isn’t the first time I’ve run into scheduling nightmares. For some reason, year after year networks program their best and most popular shows against one another. Why they think this is a good idea, I’ll never understand.

It seems if the ratings juggernaut of Survivor dominated the 8 p.m. Thursday timeslot, that other networks would schedule shows in a different time slot that has little else to offer. That way, instead of just a small slice of the ratings pie, they could get the whole thing. It seems logical. Yet, they don’t do it.

Perhaps the network honchos know something I don’t, which would explain why they’re rich and powerful, and I just write critiques of their products. Whatever their rationale, the end result stinks.

Viewers will have plenty of hard choices to make this season. Especially problematic are Tuesdays at 9 p.m. Promising new shows Clubhouse and Veronica Mars are up against Father of the Pride, Scrubs, According to Jim, and One Tree Hill.

Sundays will force viewers to choose, too. New shows Desperate Housewives and Jack & Bobby will be battling it out at 9 p.m. At 8 p.m., Charmed, American Dreams, Arrested Development, and Cold Case will force viewers to decide if they prefer witches, retro music, offbeat humor, or crime mysteries.

As for Thursdays at 8 p.m., it’s dueling remotes at the Biller household. I’ll keep you posted on who wins and who gets voted off the island.

MTV Video Music Awards: Nothing makes you feel old like watching the MTV Video Music Awards. What I saw of Sunday’s show proved one thing to me: I’m not as cool as I think I am. Sure, I enjoy Usher and OutKast as much as the next. How could I not love a song that urges me to “shake it like a Polaroid picture?” But as for the rest, it was painful. Back in the day of ’80s-hair bands, power ballads, and Madonna rolling around on stage in a white wedding dress, I scoffed at my parents’ disapproving eye. I remember saying they just didn’t understand my music. Apparently, I have officially crossed over into adulthood and joined them in their prudish musical tastes. I used to know all the words. Now, I can’t even tell what the hip hoppers are saying and don’t care to find out. One bright spot was the incredibly gifted Alicia Keys. She has a voice like velvet. It’s a massage for the ears.

Welcome Back: Ed is coming to Scrubs. Actor Thomas Cavanagh is reprising his role as J.D.’s older brother this season. As if I needed another reason to watch my favorite sitcom. Actress Julianna Margulies, formerly Carol of ER is also scheduled to appear as a malpractice lawyer, according to TV Guide Online. Now, if they could just get pediatrician Doug Ross on staff, i.e. George Clooney, my evil plan would be complete.

Hail to the Chiefs?: It’s a presidential election year, and we all know what that means. Martin Sheen is about to be ousted from The West Wing. The two contenders to replace him in the fictitious race to the oval office are Jimmy Smits, of NYPD Blue fame and TV icon Alan Alda, according to The Hollywood Reporter. Both enigmatic actors join the cast this season and could be just the fresh blood the show needs. I kind of hope Smits loses. Instead of president, I’d love to see him as a romantic interest for C.J. Then, finally, she’d get to date a man taller than she is.

Originally published 9/1/04 in The Exponent Telegram newspaper.

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