Penn Jillette and Monica Seles say goodbye to Dancing With the Stars

You made the right choice, America. Thank you!

Last night, you sent the two least-talented dancers home from Dancing With the Stars: entertainer/illusionist Penn Jillette and tennis-great Monica Seles.

No amount of magic tricks could convince the audience that Jillette could actually dance. I’m not sorry he’s leaving. I don’t think there has ever been a more annoying contestant on the show. Jillette constantly interrupted the judges during their critiques, by trying to make jokes and get laughs. Then, he jokingly tripped going up the stairs. He wasn’t funny, and his partner Kym Johnson looked like she wanted to tape his mouth shut as much as I did.

Monica Seles, on the other hand, was every bit a pleasure to have on the show. She was elegant, sweet, and really came out of her shell on Monday to do a sexy, sultry number. It wasn’t up to the level of the other dancers, as she just seems to be an awkward mover, but hey, she tried. It was refreshing to see someone who was so at the top of her game in one area, not be able to master another physical challenge. It’s inspirational to us common folk to realize that celebrities aren’t always good at everything, even when they’re gorgeous and seem to have skills the rest of us don’t. Monica gets an A for effort, and I wish her well.

As for the rest of the dancers, I think it’s obvious who is the best this year. Kristi Yamaguchi and partner Mark Ballas earned the highest first-round scores in the history of the show, straight nines for both dances. It’s rare to be able to pick the best dancer so early in the competition, but wow, she can dance. There is no question.

So, I’m officially endorsing Ms. Kristi as my pick. Yes, I know that Jason Taylor is pretty and can move, too, but it’s time a woman won this thing! And Kristi is the best we’ve ever had. She and Mark just look fantastic together. I was worried that she wouldn’t be able to pull off the sexy, mambo, but she tossed out that prim, proper elegance she’s known for and got all kinds of wild sexy for the number. But, dance lovers, you MUST vote for Kristi, if you want her to stay. (Wow, I just sounded like co-host Samantha Harris there, Sorry.) We’ve seen plenty of talented ladies leave early (Hello, Sabrina Bryan and Stacy Keibler) because people thought they were so good they didn’t need votes. So, please, vote for Kristi, people, every week. We haven’t seen a female take home the mirror ball trophy since Kelly Monaco in season one, and then the DWTS folks had the audacity to make her dance again for it and crown a guy the champion. Enough! This is our year. Come on ladies; make me proud. I’m starting to think this show is sexist.

Other great performances this week were Jason Taylor, or “King of the Mambo,” as the judges named him and Shannon Elizabeth’s impressive quickstep. I enjoyed Taylor’s dance, but I think Elizabeth should have earned equally high marks as he did. Her dance looked much more difficult, and she was so precise, hardly breaking hold the entire time. Taylor had some mambo moves, but I didn’t think he was better than Elizabeth. He seemed to do a lot of long-stretch holds and poses, while his partner Edyta Sliwinska flitted around him. He’s capable of great dancing though, so I look forward to next week.

Mario also did a good job, and I loved Marissa Jaret Winokur’s energy. And Marlee Matlin continues to impress. How a deaf person can dance that well is a mystery to me. I also love her partner Fabian Sanchez. He’s a cutie with a great attitude. Well done, DWTS, for replacing Maks with this guy.

Next week, I’m hoping Adam Carolla hits the road. He’s up for the second most annoying contestant ever, due to his comments back to the judges and his constant attempts to be funny.

Note to DWTS folks: Please stop casting comedians. It’s much more enjoyable to watch people that are naturally funny, such as Helio Castronveves, George Hamilton and Jerry Springer than those who think it’s their job to crack jokes every three minutes. We’ve got host Tom Bergeron for that.

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