Tom Selleck fans, are you sitting down? Selleck is in negotiations for the role of the new owner of the Montecito Resort & Casino on Las Vegas, according to The Hollywood Reporter.
I know. I know. Simmer down!
If Selleck can work out a deal, he’ll be back on our screen on a regular weekly basis for the first time since Magnum P.I. wrapped in 1988.
If Selleck takes the job, I hope his character fares better than the previous Montecito owners. (A giant squid killed Dean Cain’s character and Lara Flynn Boyle’s character was blown off the roof.)
Las Vegas will be low on testosterone this year, as James Caan vacates his role as Big Ed. So, Selleck could fill the much-needed fun, tough-guy void that Caan is leaving. Caan is exiting the show to pursue his movie career.
If Las Vegas lands Selleck, then I applaud executive producer Gary Scott Thompson and his gang. They know how to cast. Cain was a fan favorite, and Selleck is, too.
Selleck has had recent notable guest roles on Friends and Boston Legal, but not a regular weekly gig, much to my dismay. In my Emmy column in 2004, I pondered why the TV folks weren’t chasing Selleck, as he caused quite a fan stir at the awards ceremony when he presented an award. Fans were screaming and whistling to such an extent, the poor guy could barely get through his dialogue.
Selleck would fit well with the fun-loving Las Vegas cast, including Josh Duhamel, Vanessa Marcil, James Lesure and Molly Sims. I’d be willing to bet that he might even bring in some new viewers.
For more Tube Talk stories on Tom Selleck, click here. (Yeah, I'm a little obsessed.)
Monday, April 16, 2007
Tom Selleck may be headed to “Las Vegas”
Subscribe by RSSTuesday, March 03, 2009
Why can’t Magnum P.I. get to the big screen?
by Jennifer Squires Biller
Tom Selleck proved he’s still got it when it comes to TV ratings. His TV movie Jessie Stone: Thin Ice scored more than 15 million viewers on Sunday night. But the real movie everyone wants to see him in, according to Selleck, is Magnum P.I. on the big screen. Yes, even all these years later.
So, why can’t this film get made? Selleck is still a fan favorite, as evidenced from his continuous TV-ratings wins and public adoration at Hollywood events. And Magnum P.I. still has an audience in syndication, both here and abroad.
In a recent interview, Selleck said his friend Tom Clancy had written a script years ago, but the studios and Hollywood bigwigs could never come to an agreement on the film. Can you say “idiotic?” A Tom Clancy script and Tom Selleck as the lead, it was money in the bank. This film should have been made in the 1990s, not long after the show ended. But it’s not too late. Or maybe it is, considering the recent trend in movie making.
There is a new era in Hollywood these days, one of teen-driven silly films, many of which are populated with sexual shenanigans and bathroom humor. Then, there are the truly sadistic horror movies that seem to celebrate evil through the most disgusting, vile, graphic images possible. And if that’s not enough to entice you, there’s always the latest meaningful drama, showcasing misery from a war, or Nazi Germany, or any other traumatic event in our nation’s history that leaves me so despondent I want to gauge out my eyes.
When I see the crop of movies being made, I have to ask myself how these juvenile films ever get produced, but a movie about Magnum P.I. could not. It’s one of life’s greatest mysteries. Generations from now will be able to watch Superbad, but not a character film about a Vietnam war vet who charmed us with his sleuthing skills and adolescent love for life.
Selleck is a proven entity, and guess what movie studios, not all of us want to see the current slop being turned out. You seem to have forgotten that good storytelling is the crux of a good film. Remember when movies actually had plots and characters that got us excited? I think a couple of them actually won Oscars this year.
Selleck said even after all these years, he always wins the polls about who fans want to play Magnum P.I. on the big screen. With apologies to Matthew McConaughey and every other A list actor who has been mentioned as a candidate for Magnum the film, there is no other actor to do this part. Sorry. Magnum was a character-based show, so changing the main character is a recipe for disaster.
Selleck said he wants to do the film, but not if it’s just to see how everyone has aged. He wants a decent script that won’t lampoon the show. I couldn’t agree more. I can’t imagine what those movie producers, who love to take TV shows and mock them, would do with Magnum’s rubber chicken.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Tom Selleck heads to Boston Legal
February 21, 2006
It’s true. Magnum P.I., er, Tom Selleck returned to the small screen Tuesday night.
Can I get a Woo Hoo up in here? I haven’t been this excited since, the Happy Days Reunion special. Selleck played Ivan Tiggs, the philandering ex-husband of Murphy Brown, er, Shirley Schmidt (Candace Bergen.)
For those of you who don’t remember the ‘80s and are unfamiliar with the coolness that was Magnum - (And you call yourself a TV fan. I can’t really believe you don’t know Magnum, but, whatever.) - you’ll probably recognize Selleck as Monica’s sexy, older boyfriend, Richard, on Friends. For the rest of you, I think I speak for all of when I say, “Dude, what happened to the red Ferrari?”
Candace Bergen and Tom Selleck are two of my all-time favorite television actors, and their scenes didn’t disappoint. I’m not usually a fan of stunt casting of guest stars, (Will and Grace, I’m talking to you) but in this case, it worked well.
If you missed last night’s episode, don’t despair. According to TV Guide’s supreme scoop master Michael Ausiello, Selleck will reprise his role for “at least one more episode.”
You can read Ausiello’s news here, as well as information about a possible third season for the superb Boston Legal: http://www.tvguide.com/News/Ausiello/AskAusiello
Tube talk girl can be reached by e-mail at jennifer@tube-talk.com
Monday, October 01, 2007
Las Vegas premiere: Hello, Tom Selleck!
Delinda survived the explosion and shared the news with Danny that she’s pregnant. Sam survived the kidnapping and attempted rape by pushing creepy billionaire Vince out of a plane at 15,000 feet to his death. A Montecito employee robbed the casino, and Ed busted him. Mary’s pedophile dad took three bullets to the chest, courtesy of Mary and Ed. Consequently, Ed, Jillian, and Mary are all on the run from the cops. And the Montecito has a new owner with a passion for cowboy boots, A.J. Cooper, aka Tom Selleck.
Cooper made quite an impression on his first day. We first saw him on a horse, riding the range, before writing a check for $241 million to buy the Montecito. He gave away a fleet of cars and $3 million dollars in cash and let a card cheater go, after making him lose all his ill-gotten winnings. His management style couldn’t be more opposite of Ed Deline’s.
Selleck’s character is eccentric, shaking things up with his “Anything Can Happen” campaign. He doesn’t yet have the effortless chemistry with Josh Duhamel and company that James Cann and Dean Cain did, but I think that’s because his character is supposed to be adversarial with the team at the onset. Cooper is trying to decide if he wants to fire anyone. Cooper came across as a bit cold to the employees, but it worked for him because his character is supposed to be intimidating. He was. Even marine Danny was rattled.
Fans were worried about the future of Las Vegas when news broke last year that Caan and Nikki Cox were leaving the show. Based on the premiere, I’d say that Las Vegas is in good shape. The trademark humor is still intact. From Mike’s fetal development lecture, to Delinda’s morning sickness and growing boobs, to Sam’s fast-talking, there were plenty of laughs. The best line of the night though went to manicurist Polly, who with her broken English, managed to bust an inside joke about Rosie O’Donnell. While giving Selleck’s character a manicure, she told him the Montecito needed a makeover, “like Rosie O’Donnell.” (O’Donnell once rudely went off on Selleck during an appearance on her talk show for his support of the NRA.)
My only beef with the show was the way Ed’s exit was handled. Making him a fugitive is a hard pill to swallow, considering he now has a grandchild on the way that I’m sure he and Jillian will want to see. Couldn’t Ed and Jillian have retired to a golf community somewhere instead?
Next week looks to be even better, as Mike and Danny vie for the top-dog job. It looks like Mike is the frontrunner at this point, but Cooper is a former marine, as is Danny, so they share that bond.
After Friday’s premiere, Josh Duhamel chatted with fans at NBC.com. If you missed it, check out the transcript here.
What did you think of Selleck and the new sheriff in town? Did you feel a huge, gaping hole with Ed and Mary gone? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Tom Selleck returns to TV as Jesse Stone
I know many of you don’t understand my love for all things Magnum, P.I. um, Tom Selleck. (Yeah, yeah, I know he’s an actual actor who just played a part.) Anyway, my devotion continues to this day, whether he’s singing on Boston Legal as Shirley’s ex-husband or battling the booze in the Jesse Stone made-for-TV movies.
The latest TV installment of the popular Jesse Stone series is scheduled to air May 20 on CBS, according to TV Guide. Jesse Stone: Sea Change finds Stone a year sober and “tentatively reunited with his ex-wife, Jenn,” according to Publishers Weekly.
Selleck has starred in three previous Jesse Stone films, which follow the life of the former Los Angeles cop who seeks justice, while battling his own demons.
Those of you who still don’t get my Selleck fixation, I challenge you to watch an episode of Magnum P.I., now in syndication, and not end up loving the mustache man. Magnum P.I. airs on WGN, out of Chicago, at 10 a.m. weekdays and on Sleuth at 7 p.m. and 1 a.m.
As for the highly anticipated Magnum movie for the big screen, I know nothing. Last year, rumors were rampant that Matthew McConaughey was set to step into the trademark Hawaiian shirt and Detroit Tigers cap for the title role, but I’ve found nothing to confirm that. Frankly, if Hollywood assassinates the Magnum story the way it did Miami Vice, Starsky and Hutch and Charlie’s Angels, I’d rather they just leave it alone.
Selleck fans, meanwhile, can get their fix through Jesse Stone and the syndicated reruns of the beloved Magnum P.I.
Friday, August 31, 2007
First look: Tom Selleck on Las Vegas
I’m a little giddy at the thought of having Selleck back on weekly television. (Yes, I know it’s not 1985, but some childood crushes never go away.)
Plus, he’s starring on my guilty pleasure, Las Vegas, alongside two of my other favorites, Josh Duhamel and Vanessa Marcil. Most of you know about my embarrassing crush on Duhamel, but you probably don’t know that I’ve had a girl crush on Marcil since her days on General Hospital. I can’t help it. She’s “the most beautiful girl in the world.” Just ask Prince.
If any of you have questions for Selleck, please e-mail me or leave them in the comments below. I’m participating in an interview conference call with him in a couple weeks.
Don’t forget to catch the two-hour season premiere of Las Vegas on Friday, September 28 at 9 p.m. ET.
Enjoy the eye candy below!
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Magnum P.I. reunion on Las Vegas
If the names Magnum, TC, and Rick mean anything to you, then keep reading.
Fans of the hit 1980s show Magnum P.I. are about to get a treat this season. As has been exuberantly reported here, Tom Selleck is joining the cast of the NBC show Las Vegas this season. What you don’t know is that Selleck is bringing a couple of his former Magnum costars along with him.
Larry Manetti and Roger E. Mosley, (Rick an T.C.) will guest star as two of Selleck’s “billionaire buddies who come in for their yearly poker game,” executive producer Gary Scott Thompson told TV Guide.
I’m not sure if it was Selleck’s idea to reunite with his two pals in this fun story or if it came from the Las Vegas producers. But, bravo to whomever made that decision. However, I’d like to see Higgins, too. Yes, I’m a greedy TV diva.
The date of this very special Las Vegas has not been released yet. Stay tuned.
Monday, December 03, 2007
Let’s talk TV: The week in review
Desperate Housewives
That twister that hit Wisteria Lane left a street full of devastation. In the voiceover intro, we were told one of the ladies would lose a husband and that they would all lose a friend. Gaby’s spouse, Victor, was impaled with a white picket fence. How’s that for symbolism? (One husband down.) But the friend? My money is on poor Ida. I’m guessing she woke up and went looking for her cat, right into the path of the tornado. I blame Lynette. We’ve seen a lot of selfish behavior through the years on this show, but Lynette consistently exhibits self-absorbed behavior. Pushing her way into her neighbor’s basement during the storm and then insisting Ida’s cat be removed is so typical Lynette. Kudos to Mrs. Landingham, oops, Mrs. McClusky for calling Lynette out on her selfish behavior that she only acts like a friend when she needs something. Why didn’t Lynette and Tom go to another neighbor’s house or a shelter? Maybe this storm will teach Lynette how to be a friend. On second thought, she’s got Gaby, Susan and Bree as her companions, so there’s probably no hope for Lynette.
Las Vegas
Sam is back at the Montecito. Can I get a woo-hoo? Her bowling meeting with Cooper was a fun tête-à-tête during a game of bowling. I finally figured out what’s bugging me about Tom Selleck’s stiff-jawed portrayal of Cooper. He’s missing the Thomas Magnum sense of humor. Selleck excels in levity. To see it restrained in this role is a real downer. Did you catch his hilarious stint on Friends? Yes, Cooper is daunting, scary and mysterious. But I miss his fun side. Ed Deline managed a perfect balance of both. Let’s hope Selleck finds his smile soon. It’s too pretty not to be seen.
Meanwhile, Danny and Mike caught the robbers. But poor Danny, every member of his family has now ended up six-feet under. DeLinda, you should think twice before marrying into the McCoy clan.
How I Met Your Mother
Barney lost his mojo. Say what? Even suited up in a room full of supermodels, Barney had nothing. Sure, it stemmed from realizing that his brother, the always-entertaining Wayne Brady, had paid Barney’s first lover to lie about his performance. Realizing he wasn’t awesome threw Barney in to such a spin that he began doubting his sexual prowess, thus throwing off everything in the How I Met Your Mother universe. In a funny B storyline, the rest of the gang joined the gym. It lasted less than a week. As much as I enjoy the Mother folks, I’ve lost all patience with the reveal about who the mother actually is. Just tell us already!
Brothers and Sisters
Congratulations Robert and Kitty! They tied the knot. It’s always a good time at a Walker shindig and the wedding didn’t disappoint, due to Robert’s run at the presidency. I couldn’t help but chuckle as members of the Walker clan were detained by secret service for various charges: Kevin’s off-the-cuff comment about wanting to kill his new brother in law, Nora’s date for smoking pot and Justin and Tommy for fighting. Good times. Good for Rebecca for telling Justin that his new girlfriend was sleeping with this brother. As for the new guy in town who showed up at Holly’s door at the end, I’m betting he’s Rebecca’s real father. There is no way she and Justin are brother and sister. I just can’t buy it. Those two have too much chemistry.
Pushing Daisies
A taffy candy competitor moved into the Pie Hole neighborhood and the rivalry got a bit sticky this week. One dead body in the taffy vat later, and the pie maker and his pals had to solve a crime. This show is so much fun. Thank you ABC and Lee Pace for making me smile each week. And I’ve said it before, Ned and Olive, are pure confection. I do have one note, though, Lee Pace, you know I love you, but get a pair of tweezers. Those eyebrows are starting to rival Peter Gallagher’s.
The Office
Psych! Yes, I’d love to be able to gush about Michael’s latest idiotic scheme or the euphoria that is Pam and Jim, but the writer’s strike has caused The Office to go dark with any new episodes. I hurt, Tubers!
Friday Night Lights
Landry confessed. Matt lost his virginity. Tim apologized his way back on to the team. And Eric was jealous of his wife’s new “yuck-it-up” friend. Things happen quickly in Dillon. I’m so glad this show has new episodes left because ending the show with Landry’s confession to the cops is a cliffhanger of monumental proportions. Will he go to jail? Will Tyra come to his rescue? I can’t wait for the next episode.
OK, it’s your turn to share your thoughts on your favorite moments and shows from the past week. I’ll be waiting for your comments.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Interview with Rosie O’Donnell: Rosie dishes about her new variety show and "The View"
by Jennifer Squires Biller
I spoke with Rosie O’Donnell today on a conference call to discuss her upcoming Rosie Live variety television special.
First of all, she was delightful, sticking around to answer all the questions from inquisitive journalists. (New York Post, did you really need to have three reporters ask questions? Geesh! Give the rest of us a chance.)
Second, she loved the name of my Web site, Tube Talk, which endeared her to me from the get go. (At first, she thought it was named Tube Top, so that was a funny moment. You can hear the hilarious exchange for yourself at the end of the blog post in a brand new audio feature.)
Not only did O’Donnell dish the scoop on her upcoming variety show special, she talked about her difficult time on The View, mentioned her old talk show and that infamous heated interview with Tom Selleck, and even discussed politics. “Variety” indeed.
Yes, Rosie is headed back to television. For how long, depends on ratings for her upcoming variety show. If ratings are high, NBC will order six more episodes, O’Donnell said. If those go well, then NBC can renew the show in cycles of six, she said.
Rosie Live is an old-style variety show, the kind many of us TV addicts grew up watching, including O’Donnell. Think Sonny and Cher, Donny and Marie, and Carol Burnett, all inspirations for the show.
Rosie gave me an exclusive piece of scoop for Tube Talk, since she loved the name of my Web site so much (thank you Rosie!): Gloria Estefan will be stopping by the variety special. As previously reported, also on board for the show are Alec Baldwin, Liza Minnelli, Jane Krakowski, Kathy Griffin, Alanis Morissette, Ne-Yo and plenty of Broadway actors.
Minnelli and O’Donnell will open the show with a duet, she said. It’s a song from The Act and one that Minnelli hasn’t sung in 30 years.
“It was a song I grew up singing and now the dream is coming true,” O’Donnell said. “She’s showbiz royalty.”
The format for Rosie Live is scripted comedy bits, with the celebrity guests playing themselves, a comedy sketch with Rosie dressed as a policeman and plenty of musical numbers.
What viewers won’t see is Rosie espousing her political views. This show is “to give people an hour to forget about their troubles,” O’Donnell said. Considering the current state of the world, I think the timing is perfect for an old-school variety show. So does O’Donnell, who likened the current environment to that of the ‘70s when variety shows were popular.
“It’s the right time,” she said. “Variety shows were a big hit in the ‘70s when the economy was in the crapper, and gasoline was scarce, and people’s belief in the political system was shaky.”
As for The View, O’Donnell said she rarely watches the show and is still unhappy with how her stint ended.
“After I left the show, I couldn’t watch it. I had so many mixed emotions. It would just be almost like post-traumatic stress disorder. Every time I would turn it on I would have mild panic and have to turn it off. Truly I haven’t watched it,” she said.
“Having been there and having seen what goes on behind the curtain, it’s a different experience to watch it than as an average viewer,” she said. "No matter what Barbara (Walters) wants everyone to believe, and think and act as if everybody there gets along and is really good friends... it's just not the reality. I’m not saying they loathe each other... The fact is there wasn’t a lot of camaraderie off camera there…That’s not saying you can’t work with people and have a relationship.”
As for that infamous argument with co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck about the war in Iraq, it’s still upsetting to O’Donnell that it played out on live television.
"For me what happened on the show was a personal argument with a friend that was publicly displayed... I didn't want to be paid to fight. When I started and took that job it was with the intent of speaking for the millions of mothers whose voices weren't represented on television," she said… "I’m not proud of the arguing and the fighting.”
After being the boss of her own talk show, it was tough not having control of The View, O’Donnell said.
“It was Barbara Walters and Bill Geddes’ program... I was not the boss, and I did find that difficult,” she said. “I did enjoy the program right up until the day it all went crazy…I did it for a year and I thought it was really great, right up until the day it went off the track. When you're on a football team and your own team won't support you, and your own guy tackles you, it's time to take off the uniform."
O’Donnell also discussed how much she loved her former self-titled talk show and that she didn’t argue politics on it with the exception of that infamous fight with Tom Selleck about guns. “It was a sad day for both of us, I’m sure,” she said.
During the conference call, journalists were limited to one question and a follow up. And for all my readers who love her character Dawn Budge on Nip/Tuck, I asked if we’d see her again on the show. O’Donnell hopes so, she said. So do I.
If you don’t want to wait for the new season of Nip/Tuck, you can get catch O’Donnell this Wednesday in her variety special. Personally, I can’t wait. Long time readers of this column, dating back to its early days as a print newspaper column, know I’ve been a fan of O’Donnell’s for many years. I loved the Rosie O’Donnell Show so much I taped every episode. So, to say I’m excited to see her back on television in a format that doesn’t involve arguing and politics is my very own little Christmas present.
Rosie Live will air Wednesday, November 26, (the night before Thanksgiving) at 8 p.m. ET on NBC.
(When the window opens, click on “rosieinterview.wav” and “open.” It will take a couple seconds to load. This is my first attempt at including audio in a post, so please let me know if you’re having trouble hearing it. The audio worked fine for me in Windows Media Player.)
ROSIE INTERVIEW
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Best and worst of the Emmys
Photo: Tom Bergeron, Heidi Klum and William Shatner in an opening Emmy skit
by Jennifer Squires Biller
It was a big night for Tina Fey and 30 Rock and a night that the world realized that Howie Mandel should never host an awards show.
This year’s Emmys showed lots of love to basic cable shows and the actors on them (Mad Men, Damages, Breaking Bad) and the NBC comedy 30 Rock (scoring wins for Best Comedy, Lead Actress Tina Fey, Lead Actor Alec Baldwin and Writer Tina Fey.) The show also wasn’t short on political statements in this presidential election year, from actors urging viewers to vote, to swipes at the current administration
As a longtime Emmy viewer and fan, I have to say that this year’s show was one of the worst in Emmy history. No, I didn’t take my bitter pills this morning. It’s the sad truth. Here’s a rundown of my choice of highlights and lowlights, including best lines.
Best Ad-lib: “She’s bald, too.” ---The follicular challenged Bryan Cranston, looking down at his new gold Emmy for lead actor in a drama.
Biggest Hollywood diss: "At this point I was planning on doing a few more jokes, but Katherine Heigl told me my material wasn't Emmy worthy." – Conan O'Brien, ripping on Heigl, who withdrew her name from Emmy consideration, stating that she didn’t have Emmy material this year on Grey’s Anatomy.
Biggest disappointment: The Emmy opening usually sets the tone for the entire show. And what started out as a fun bit, with actors quoting famous TV lines, quickly gave way to the most awkward show opening ever, as the five show hosts (Howie Mandel, Tom Bergeron, Heidi Klum, Jeff Probst, and Ryan Seacrest) stumbled through a “we’ve got nothing” comedy attempt. It proved that indeed, they had nothing. They talked over one another, rambled, and it ended with Heidi Klum stripped down to a revealing outfit. If the Emmys want to hire five hosts, instead of one, I suggest Ricky Gervais, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. They are comediennes, and frankly, the show could have used some comedy, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the tried-and-true song and dance number.
Best skit: Josh Groban’s musical medley of 30 legendary TV theme songs. Groban started out with a spot-on version of the Friends theme song, before launching into songs from The Love Boat, The Addams Family, The Brady Bunch and many more, sounding just like every one of the famous tunes. His version of Eric Cartman’s line in South Park had me howling, as well as his COPS rendition and the theme from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Who knew Groban could rap? The guy should have received a standing ovation, but the lazy attendees stayed planted. What does it take to get these people on their feet, Oprah?
Worst skit: The Laugh-In bit. Maybe it’s a generation gap, but I don’t get it. A pie in the face as someone says “Sock it to me?” Really, that’s funny? The entire skit with actors opening and closing doors just left me confused. I know the show is a comedy legend, but if that skit is a reflection, I’m baffled as to why.
Strangest skit: Martin Sheen on the set of The West Wing, urging everyone to vote. As great as it was to see Sheen again, why is this material on the Emmys? I’d rather the time be spent to show us some actual clips of the actors and shows that were nominated. This political announcement would have been better served as a commercial or an after-school special.
Best jab at show hosts: Jeremy Piven, during his acceptance speech. " What if I just kept talking for 12 minutes? That was the opening."
Second best jab at show hosts: “Thanks to Howie Mandel's prattling, our bit has been cut."— Neil Patrick Harris, echoing everyone’s thoughts when viewers realized they wouldn’t get to hear Harris’ bit.
Best banter: Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, who stated at the onset of their presentation that they would not get political, as Colbert broke out a bag of prunes and began eating them. “I think right now America needs a prune. It may not be a young sexy plum. Granted, it is shriveled and sometimes hard to swallow, but this dried-up old fruit has the experience we need.” Stewart countered with, “After eight years of prunes, you would think that’s enough.” Colbert shot back, while still chewing, “Never enough. What could possibly go wrong?”
Biggest surprise: The theme song to M*A*S*H has words. Ditto for the theme to The Andy Griffith Show. Who knew? Josh Groban, apparently, when he belted out the ditties during his TV-theme-song medley.
Understatement of the night: “We’re like on the Sarah Palin bridge to nowhere, that's where we are right now…. The government can't even bail us out of this.” -- Emmy co-host Howie Mandel, who noted the lack of audience laughter during he and his co-stars’ opening monologue.
Best acceptance speech: Tina Fey, (I guess.) No one truly stood out with a fantastic speech, as opposed to years past. (Remember Steve Carell’s speech that his wife “wrote” and Greg Garcia’s people he didn’t want to thank?) At least Fey had one funny line: “I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to somehow have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities. Well, done. That is what all parents should do.”
Worst acceptance speech: Any and all that broke out a list of names. These are award-winning entertainers, who should be giving us an entertaining speech, not rattling items off a piece of paper like a grocery list. Glenn Close, I’m talking to you.
Best politically scripted line: Kathy Griffin, as she and Don Rickles took the stage. “The world hasn’t seen a pairing like this since John McCain and Sarah Palin.”
Best unintentional laugh: Heidi Klum’s broken English, when introducing presenter David Boreanaz. Here’s how Heidi said it with her charming accent: “David Boreanaz of THE Bones.” Adorable, right?
Short but sweet: Kathryn Joosten and Tom Selleck appeared for a blink-and-you-missed it-moment. They both were presenting, but both were limited to about 20 seconds of simply announcing the awards, due to time constraints. Note to producers: If you’re going to give us the delectable Selleck, give him more airtime than a sneeze. And how dare you cut Mrs. Landingham’s bit. She’s funnier than Mandel!
Best reunion: Sally Field and Tom Hanks, former mother-son costars on Forrest Gump.. As Fields presented Hanks with his award for Outstanding Miniseries, she asked how her “boy” was and Hanks, without missing a beat, called her “mom” and replied he was fine, before launching into his famous Forrest line “You know, momma always said…”
Sharpest political jab: Kirk Ellis, winner of the writing award for miniseries for the show John Adams. “Thank you for giving me this amazing opportunity to talk about a period in our history when articulate men articulated complex thoughts in complete sentences.”
Best advice for giving good acceptance speeches: Ricky Gervais. “Keep it short, particularly if you’re not onscreen talent. No one wants to hear from a producer.”
Biggest repeat offender: Jeremy Piven wins AGAIN for best supporting actor in a comedy. I get it. He’s talented; you like him. But, can we please make room for someone else in this category? Someone like Neil Patrick Harris or Rain Wilson?
You should have listened to Kimmel: Jeff Probst accepted his award for best reality host and gave Kimmel his “told ya so” moment. “Jimmy Kimmel, you told us the ‘nothing’ bit may not work, but we stuck to our guns.”
Biggest oversight: Friday Night Lights wasn’t nominated, nor were its stars Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton. Great show, great performances, great disappointment that the show and its actors were snubbed. Shame on you, voters.
Harshest Bush bash: "I'm living proof, kids at home watching, that anybody can play the president."--- Paul Giamatti, accepting the award for outstanding lead actor in a miniseries or movie for President John Adams.
Biggest reality check: It’s been a decade since The West Wing began. A decade? Wow. The President himself, Martin Sheen said it, so it must be true, but it does not seem like a decade has passed since this wonderful show graced the airwaves.
Clips please!: I’m not sure how the show producers could fit this in, but if they had time for that lame opening and the lengthy presentation of the reality host award, why didn’t they give us some clips from the shows the actors are nominated for in the lead categories or clips of the nominated shows. Perhaps the Emmys need to expand an extra hour, to truly pay tribute to TV and its stars. Hey, it works for the Oscars.
Best heckling: Don Rickles rips on the writers of the Emmys for the forced banter: “Let’s read the funny lines they wrote for us.” --- (rolling his eyes.)
My picks: Everyone has someone they’re rooting for and in my opinion, Vanessa Williams and Kristin Chenoweth should have both taken home statues for their supporting comedy performances. Aliens in America’s Adhir Kalyan should have been nominated in the supporting comedy category, and Chandra Wilson should have claimed the supporting actress in a drama award for her work on Grey’s Anatomy. And the fact that Tichina Arnold, of Everybody Hates Chris, wasn’t even nominated for supporting comedy actress makes me want to scream.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Rosie O’Donnell named new co-host of "The View"
by Jennifer Squires Biller
Barbara Walters officially broke the news Friday at the Daytime Emmy Awards that former talk-show host Rosie O’Donnell will replace Meredith Vieira as the new co-host of The View.
“Well, thank God, because it was either that or Celebrity Fit Club," O'Donnell joked, when she joined Walters on stage for the announcement. Humor like that is why we love Rosie.
Kudos to Walters for this brilliant casting move. O’Donnell had a huge following with her former talk show and will undoubtedly bring a lot of viewers with her. (Perhaps, even me.) Admittedly, I’ve never been a fan of The View. (Ducking for cover.) I’ve tried several times to watch the show, but can’t seem to make it through an entire viewing. All the ladies have an annoying habit of talking over one another at the same time, making the conversation inaudible and making me reach for the ibuprofen and the remote.
O’Donnell was once nicknamed “The Queen of Nice.” I’m anxious to see if she can maintain that image, or if she even wants to, sitting beside Star Jones Reynolds and the rest of the gals. Viewers of The Rosie O’Donnell Show watched Rosie temporarily shed her “nice” label when she verbally attacked guest Tom Selleck about his affiliation with the National Rifle Association. (Selleck had come on to promote a movie, but the highly emotional exchange quickly put an end to that.) I saw it live, and it was one of the most awkward moments ever on television. You all know my deep affection for Magnum P.I., so obviously I was miffed at his shabby treatment. But we all have bad days, so I’m not judging. Still, it will be interesting to see if Rosie will be judgmental of politics/associations/lifestyles that she passionately disagrees with, or if she’ll simply contribute her “view” without drawing blood from her co-workers or guests. I know I’ll be tuning in to see what happens. She debuts in September. Welcome back, Rosie. We’ve missed you!
Tube Talk Girl can be reached by e-mail at jennifer@tube-talk.com.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Emmy highs and sighs 2004
September 22, 2004
They silenced Tony Soprano.
Who does that?
When The Sopranos won the Emmy for best drama, they cut off actor James Gandolfini, America’s favorite TV mafia don, before he had a chance to speak.
Apparently, the honchos producing Sunday’s Emmy Awards don’t know that he’s connected. Only series creator David Chase got to fire off a quick 30-second thank-you before the band struck up the music signaling The Sopranos gang off stage. I’m certain a pair of cement shoes is being crafted for that orchestra director this very minute.
Sunday’s broadcast had some highs, and lows. Here’s a rundown of the best and worst:
- Drea de Matteo gives the best acceptance speech of the night. The surprisingly shy actress won best supporting actress in a drama for her role as The Sopranos troubled, and now-deceased, Adriana. "If I try to thank everyone, I might puke, choke, cry or die. But you've already seen me do it, so I'm gonna go have 10 drinks and thank you all later." Hopefully, she’ll get lines this good on her new show Joey.
- Host Garry Shandling takes a brilliant swipe at reality TV. “It’s to the point now when a commercial comes on I go, ‘Thank God, professional actors in a story,’” he cracked. Amen Garry.
- Tom Selleck proves he’s still got it. Although he was there to introduce the somber memorial tribute, the actor could barely get through his dialogue, as he endured whistles, screams, and gushing fans. (OK, so he didn’t hear me from my living room, but the other 50 or so screaming females caused the crowd to erupt in laughter at Selleck’s obvious distress.) Network executives should take heed: Get this guy back on television. Pronto. It’s obvious he’s still a crowd favorite.
- David Hyde Pierce gives the second best speech of the night. “It’s not the way I would have gone, but OK,” he said, dryly, after taking the stage to claim his prize for best supporting actor in a comedy series. Hyde Pierce won for his work on Frasier against this year’s critic-and-crowd-favorite Jeffrey Tambor. Hyde Pierce ended by commenting on how the landscape of TV programming has shifted to reality programming. He told TV executives to call him when it changed back.
- When unsure of what to say, complement the crowd. “You’ve all made wonderful choices in dresses and shoes tonight,” deadpanned actor James Spader, during his acceptance speech for best actor in a drama series.
- Arrested Development won best comedy. We all know it should have been Scrubs, but all right. Since the idiots in the TV industry didn’t even nominate it, I’m OK with this choice. Anything is better than Everybody Loves Raymond.
- Allison Janney should have channeled C.J. Cregg. Her acceptance speech for best actress in a drama was awkward when she asked the other nominees in her category onstage. Obviously, she was as stunned as the rest of us that she won. I’m an avid fan of Janney’s, but this wasn’t her best year. If only she could have channeled her character C.J. Cregg from The West Wing. Craig is always cool, collected and knows just what to say.
- Political jokes in abundance. From a skit of political ads slandering George Washington to Shandling’s jab about Iraq, nothing was off limits. This was one of Shandling’s funniest: “We missed Osama bin Laden, but we got Martha Stewart; don't think we're not a focused country."
- Who the heck is Elaine Stritch? That was the question on everyone’s mind, after the 79-year old pistol won for best individual performance in a variety or musical program for her HBO show Elaine Stritch: At Liberty. Her feisty speech, in which she told show executives they would have to force her off stage, added some much-needed energy to the lackluster show. Stritch became the running joke of the night, much akin to Jack Palance at the Oscars years ago. “Look at the company I’m in here. And I’m so glad none of them won,” Stritch quipped before the orchestra played her off stage.
- Abducted and taken where? The segment for the best reality show was entertaining. Show executives plucked two people off the street, blindfolded them and led them onstage. The two were chosen to present the winner for best reality show. Both in shock, it was nice to see some real fans on stage gawking at the stars and getting to be a part of the festivities.
- Conan O’Brien’s brief appearance. Sorry, but host Garry Shandling’s laid-back humor is just too low-key to host a show of this caliber. The production got a momentary energy boost when Conan O’Brien took the stage. “I’ll take my time, I didn’t see Pacino rush,” O’Brien deadpanned, busting on Emmy producers. (Al Pacino was one of the only winners allowed to speak past the 40-second allotted time without being played over by the orchestra.)
- The red carpet without Joan and Melissa. I never thought I’d miss Joan Rivers, but the red carpet arrivals on E! just weren’t the same without her and daughter Melissa. Their embarrassing, and sometimes tacky, faux pas were always part of the fun. Whether needling Kevin Costner about the size of his fiancée’s diamond or calling actor’s by the wrong name, Joan was never boring. Joan’s replacement, Star Jones, made me realize that perhaps Joan really did know what she was doing.
Don’t forget tonight is the debut of Lost at 8 p.m. on ABC. It’s the one show I’m most excited to see this fall. Also, Clark Kent returns tonight, too, in Smallville at 8 p.m. on The WB.
Originally published 9/22/04 in The Exponent Telegram newspaper.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Don’t miss the TV Land Awards
by Jennifer Squires Biller
What could be better than a room full of celebrities celebrating classic television that includes Tom Selleck, Matthew McConaughey, Neil Patrick Harris and the casts of Knots Landing, Home Improvement, M*A*S*H, Murphy Brown, Married With Children and many more classic TV shows?
Not much, if you ask me.
Each year the TV Land Awards make me smile, and this year is no exception. If you missed Sunday’s show, check out the replay Tuesday at 10 p.m. ET on TV Land. It’s a treat, I promise.
Neil Patrick Harris proved he’s a Hugh Jackman in waiting, with his hosting style and hilarious musical number. Doogie Howser can sing! And I couldn’t help but get a little giddy when I saw the cast of Magnum P.I. all together again along with Tim the “toolman” Taylor, Sam from Cheers, Ted Bundy, Hot Lips from M*A*S*H, and Murphy Brown.
I grew up watching many of these shows, and I’m so thrilled that TV Land produces this show every year to pay tribute to these classics. You know TV shows are good when 25 years later you can still watch them and be entertained. That’s the case for so many of the shows honored at this year’s TV Land Awards.
I’m sure many of you will probably tune in just to see how the celebrities have aged — (Selleck looks good!) — and that’s fine. But please take a moment to consider that shows like All in the Family, Happy Days, Magnum P.I. and Seinfeld don’t come along every day. If you don’t believe me, take a spin through the channels and see how few sitcoms and truly wonderful shows exist today. It will probably send you rushing to TV Land to catch an old episode of The Andy Griffith Show.
Here’s a look at Harris’ hysterical opening number. For other behind-the-scenes videos, visit the TV Land Web site where there are plenty of videos from the TV Land Awards.
Monday, September 25, 2006
New Show Reviews: Smith, Studio 60, Six Degrees, Jericho, Brothers and Sisters, and Men in Trees
We made it through the first big week of new-show premieres, and the good news is I haven’t seen a Head Cases yet. The bad news is, I haven’t found a new Lost or Veronica Mars either. But, this week, several more new shows debut, so I’m not giving up hope.
As always, here is the Tube Talk ratings guide. The ratings are based on having viewed only one episode of each show. So in some cases, you may want to try out the shows for a few weeks before calling it quits, as they sometimes take a few episodes to find their footing. If a show debuted this week (Sept. 17-24) but isn’t here for review, well, take that as a sign.
Ratings Guide:
Four stars — Do NOT miss this show. Use extreme measures if necessary, including hiding if visitors ring the doorbell, screening phone calls, and bribing a neighbor to record it for you if you haven’t mastered your DVR/VCR. Or just become completely irrational and don’t leave home when it’s on. (Previously rated four-star shows include Lost, Jack and Bobby, and Freaks and Geeks.)
Three stars — It’s good. Catch it if you can. (Previously rated three-star shows include Bones and Joey.)
Two stars — If you’re home with nothing to do, turn it on, but don’t waste your precious TiVo hours on it. (Previously rated two-star shows include Father of the Pride and Clubhouse.)
One star — It’s so bad you’ll want to shut off the TV and write an angry letter to the network that aired it. (Previously rated one-star shows include The Help and Head Cases.)
Smith
— Thieves, killers, and eye candy all play a part in this engrossing, action-packed drama. It’s Ocean’s 11 for television, except the storylines and characters are much darker. And these bandits don’t seem to have the same knack for pulling off perfect crimes the way George Clooney and company do on the big screen. So far, the Smith gang is down one member due to a shootout— ending in a chest full of bullets for one sorry lad— and they managed to leave behind a witness who can identify the only female member of the team (Amy Smart, Felicity.) Another member of the group just got out of prison for a job that went wrong. So, they aren’t exactly smooth criminals. Simon Baker and Virginia Madsen steal the show, and I hope they’ll get more screen time. (And a special thanks to the smart exec who gave us Baker surfing in his opening scene.) The entire cast is brilliant, from Ray Liotta to Smart. However, Smith is a risky concept for television, as this is a group of thieves and murderers. That seriously hinders the likeability factor for the characters, which is usually key for a TV show to succeed. I applaud CBS for taking a chance with this daring drama. It was the best new show of the week. (CBS, Tuesdays at 10 p.m. EST)
Six Degrees — 
It’s hard to believe this dud of a drama is from TV-genius J.J. Abrams, who gave us two of TV’s greatest series ever: Lost and Felicity. Six Degrees and Abrams’ last dramatic effort, (What About Brian), have left me wondering what happened to the Abrams’ magic. Six Degrees isn’t horrible; it just isn’t memorable either. The premise of the show is that a group of strangers in New York City are somehow, by fate, all connected. In the premiere, we met the characters and watched as they tried to maneuver the rocky world of romance and life. Yawn. I was bored before the 20-minute mark. (Sorry, J.J. Don’t hate me.) You should know that not everyone feels the way I do about this show. In fact, E!Online’s Kristin Veitch loved it. (ABC, Thursdays at 10 p.m. EST)
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip —
Maybe it was the hype that had me expecting this to be the best new drama of the season. Sadly, it isn’t. I liked the show. I didn’t love it, which is unusual considering that TV-writer-extraordinaire Aaron Sorkin is behind it. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is a behind-the-scenes look at a fictional sketch comedy TV series. (Think Saturday Night Live.) Matthew Perry and Bradley Whitford are as charming as ever in their roles as a TV writer and producer, and Amanda Peet sparkles. However, the show, overall, seemed a little slow-paced and a bit flat. It lacks the charm of Sorkin’s signature show The West Wing. Considering Studio 60 is set in the world of television, I’m sure there are plenty of juicy stories to tell. I’m hoping we get to see a few of them here. My fellow critics who have seen the second episode tell me it gets better. I hope they’re right. (NBC, Mondays at 10 p.m. EST.)
---Editor's note, after viewing episode 2: My fellow critics were right. If you gave up on this show after the first week, try it again. The second and third episodes were much better, and Sorkin's signature cadence and pacing are back.
Brothers and Sisters — 
Calista Flockhart and Sally Field star in this family drama, heavy on the drama. It seems their mother/daughter relationship is strained at best. Make no mistake: This isn’t the Walton family. The Walkers have problems that can’t be solved within the span of an hour. The acting is top-notch in this series, but I’m not sure I care enough yet about the characters to make a weekly date with this one. I was excited that Tom Skerritt was part of the cast, but they killed him off in the premiere. Is it possible he’ll be back as a ghost, because that could get me to keep watching? I was most intrigued by Flockhart’s character, Kitty, a conservative political pundit, and her brother, Justin (Dave Annable,) a war veteran and drug addict. If you like family drama and have siblings, this one may be to your liking. (ABC, Sundays at 10 p.m. EST.)
Men in Trees — 
Big city girl, reeling from a break-up, moves to an isolated town in Alaska where the men outnumber women 10 to 1. OK, so the concept isn’t fresh. (We’ve seen similar versions in Ed and Northern Exposure.) But, I still enjoyed this show immensely. It’s quirky, fun and a good way to spend your Friday nights. Anne Heche plays famous writer Marin Frisk, who realizes she’s spent her whole life in relationships with men and that she needs a break. The always-perfect John Amos portrays the town’s only pilot, Buzz, and had the best line of the show. “She’s no Selleck,” he deadpanned, after hearing “celebrity” Marin speak at a public meeting. (Any show that pays tribute to Tom Selleck gets points in my book.) Viewers will recognize ER’s “Jerry” (actor Abraham Benrubi) as the town’s bartender. Men in Trees is unsteady in places. The B story of the supermodel-looking gal who happens to be a prostitute is just bizarre. But overall, the show works. Even the title is clever. The name refers to the construction sign Marin spied when she hit town that warned of “men in trees” cutting branches. However, the Darwinian metaphor isn’t lost on the audience. She’s comparing men to monkeys, one of the smartest animals in the kingdom, but still, an animal. Granted, she has just cause, considering her fiancée followed his primal urges and hooked up with another woman. Heche is enjoyable and wacky enough to sell the part. “She’s a crackpot, but I dig her,” said the town’s deejay Patrick. Yeah. Me, too. (ABC, Fridays at 9 p.m. EST.)
Jericho — If you’re fascinated with disaster shows — or Skeet Ulrich — 
you’ll definitely want to check out Jericho. It’s the story of a small, Kansas town that survives a nuclear attack. The drama unfolds as residents see a mushroom cloud and realize that other cities across the nation have been hit. Panic, fear and unrest hit residents, as the mayor (Gerald McRaney) tries to keep order. Ulrich is solid as the mayor’s estranged son and the reluctant hero. Jericho held my attention, but isn’t nearly as gripping as last year’s brilliant drama Invasion. ( I know, I have to let it go.) (CBS, Wednesday's at 8 p.m. EST.)**Check back soon for Tube Talk Girl’s take on Heroes, Ugly Betty, The Nine and Friday Night Lights.
What did you think of this week's new shows? What are your favorites? Share your thoughts in our comments section.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Let’s talk TV: The week in review
Friday Night Lights
Tyra, your body is a wonderland. (And no that isn’t a dig at her cast mate Minka Kelly, who is dating John Mayer.) Tyra is hot. It’s no wonder poor Landry is in love with her. I don’t know how Tim Riggins has managed to resist her lately. Speaking of resisting, QB1, also known as Matt Saracen, has so many hot ladies throwing themselves at him; it’s sending his stuttering into overdrive. Julie realized that she shouldn’t have ended things with Matt and seems to be getting a little too cozy with her teacher lately. I don’t like where this is headed. Watch your back, teach, because if Eric finds you hitting on his daughter, you may find yourself being used as a tackling dummy during the next football practice. And how about the entertainment for the Pantherama rally? Having the football team strip was definitely thinking outside of the box. In my high school, everyone would have been expelled for that sexy stunt. But, this is Dillon, where football rules and apparently teachers and parents don’t mind the kids half naked and gyrating on the gym floor.
Dirty Sexy Money
I’m really enjoying the dysfunctional Darling family, especially serial bride Karen. The poor gal can’t seem to get over her first love Nick George and is set on winning him back. Mrs. George, you have been warned. The most surprising twist of this show for me is that I actually like former hard-ass Rev. Brian. The storyline with his son has softened him. OK, sure he made the kid pretend he was an orphan who didn’t speak English, so that Brian’s wife wouldn’t find out that he had an illegitimate son, but in the end, he came clean. He's even missing the little tyke. And so am I.
Private Practice
It’s been weeks since I invested in Private Practice. And much like the stock market, my sentiments about this show go up and down. This week, I hit an all-time low. Addison’s new dating companion had a strange fetish: he liked to insert objects in his rectum. Let’s just say I hope she never gets that shoe back. I don’t care if it is a Jimmy Choo. I’m trying to love Private Practice; I really am. But Addison is so… what’s the word? Silly. Yes, I never thought I’d describe my Addison as silly, but that’s what she’s become. And the rest of her co-workers are just as bad. The bright spot is that she and Pete have chemistry. Perhaps she’ll stop acting like a teen soon. The one character I am interested in, Dell, never seems to have much to do but fetch coffee. How about giving him a storyline? I think I may have to handle Private Practice the same way I handle broccoli. I partake from time to time, even though I don’t like it.
Ugly Betty
Just like the sun, Ugly Betty is the one show I can count on to be reliable. (Friday Night Lights is the other.) Betty never disappoints. It’s silly fun, and unlike Private Practice, the silly works. The show somehow balances comedy and drama perfectly. Eric Mabius has made me weepy several times. When Daniel Meade gets serious, look out. This week when he mourned his father, I was reaching for the Kleenex. His idea to black out the cover of Mode in honor of this father’s death was brilliant. In contrast, Amanda’s quest to find her father makes me laugh hard, every time she goes to the wall of photos of all her mother’s lovers. This week I caught Tom Selleck’s mug, Warren Beatty, Mick Jagger and Burt Reynolds. That Faye Summers sure got around, didn’t she?
Heroes
Not even the addition of my own personal TV hero, Kristen Bell, to the Heroes cast has rekindled my love for this show. I’m sad, Tubers, as I used to love it. I’ve tried hanging on, but the show simply doesn’t interest me anymore. There are too many characters, story arcs, and too little time with the characters I do care about. It pains me more than you know to remove a show starring Kristen Bell from my DVR lineup, but when it feels like an obligation to watch it each week, then it’s time to go.
Las Vegas
There was no new episode this week, which was a good thing since we never talked about the last episode. Cooper fired Sam! I don’t think I’m alone here when I say, “What?!?!!” OK, so she shouldn’t have dumped that milkshake over the cowboy’s head, but in her defense, the guy was a tool. But this is Sam. She’s my favorite character on the show. I usually have to rewind her rapid-fire witty dialogue a couple times, so I can enjoy and appreciate her sarcastic barbs. There is no Las Vegas without her. The new boss man had better come to his senses soon because I want her back at the Montecito hanging with Mr. Cooper.
Monday, March 09, 2009
Here's a look at what the Web's best TV bloggers are talking about this week in the TV Blog Coalition, of which Tube Talk Girl is a proud member.
Is a "bad" U2 album still better than anything else on the radio? Scooter puts that theory to the test with the release of No Line on the Horizon. (Scooter McGavin's 9th Green)
Vance has his
This week, Jace took another look back at the New Romantics era by taking second look at BBC America's Ashes to Ashes. (Televisionary)
Dan may have misgivings about musical comedy as a genre -- but even he is excited about the idea of Victor Garber and Kristin Chenoweth on the new show Glee. (TiFaux)
Jennifer was shocked to see the huge ratings for Tom Selleck's TV movie and wondered why Magnum P.I. can't make it to the big screen. (Tube Talk)
Matt's hidden camera inside the bedroom of Jennifer Love Hewitt proves she isn't actually knocked up - so there must be a little Ghost Whisperer in Melinda Gordan's future. (TV Fanatic)
Special relationship or not, we Brits get to see Lost a week or so later than our cousins across the Pond. And so, better late than never, Ben tries to make sense of The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham. (TV Spy)
Don't miss any of March Sweep's big TV events with our downloadable and printable March TV 2009 Calendar (The TV Addict)
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Let’s Talk TV: The Week in Review
Never in all of my TV-viewing life would I have predicted that Friday night would be the best night for TV viewing. But it’s true. Friday is the new Thursday.
Friday Night Lights
Tim loves Lyla! I should have seen it coming, but I didn’t. His crank call to her radio show was the equivalent of pulling the little girl’s ponytail in grade school to get her attention. But what about Jason? It seems his role gets smaller and smaller by the week. Tim isn’t the only feeling lonely. Poor Matt saw his ladylove and hired nurse head out of the country. Who is going to take care of Grandma now? I worry about these things. Not to mention, I keep waiting for that scary drug dealer to realize that Tim stole his cash. That is not going to end well for Tim. (I was completely shocked to see Tim resort to stealing, since he wrote his father off in a previous episode for stealing, an act he did not condone.) The story that really warmed my heart was Santiago trying to break away from his old life. When he took on those thugs to get Buddy’s watch back that they’d stolen, my heart grew three sizes. This is the best show on television right now, hands down. It never disappoints. It has so many intense story arcs, yet they all hold my interest. From Tami and Eric trying to leave their new daughter at daycare, to Smash facing racism about his interracial romance, not a minute ticks by when I feel like fast-forwarding. In fact, the show leaves me satisfied and surprised every week that so many story arcs are played out so well. I have only one question: Where is Tyra? The girl has been missing for the past two weeks?
Boston Legal
Denny Crane was back in the courtroom, despite his Mad Cow disease. (Or senility, as it’s known in the non-Denny Crane world.) I was holding my breath for most of the episode, waiting for Denny to throw out one of his nonsensical one-liners or anger the judge with his sexist comments to the point he’d be jailed for contempt. But Denny kept it together, trying to prove he could still be effective, and surprisingly, got his client off. I enjoyed Denny in the courtroom. It was nice to see him doing something besides sexually harassing his employees or bonding with Alan. It was also a nice change to see someone other than uber-liberal Alan Shore arguing a closing. I even got a little weepy, after the trial, when Denny excused himself for a quiet moment and broke down. Most often, Boston Legal is a comedy. But when it hits dramatic moments like that one, it’s understandable why the show was nominated for an Emmy.
Las Vegas
I think Polly may be my new favorite character. In fact, she may be the funniest supporting actress on television. Her stint in traffic school with Sam and Mitch was the highlight of this week’s episode. How Polly gets her hysterical one-liners past the network police is beyond me. Plus, she’s taught me more about bikini waxing and “backdoor bleaching” than I ever wanted to know. The Piper/Cooper story was fantastic, too. Mike had me convinced that Piper was Cooper’s daughter. She does share the same irresistible dimples as Tom Selleck. I think a Mike and Piper hook up is inevitable, and I can’t wait. The Danny/Delinda pregnancy story is getting tiresome. I shudder to think what will happen when she actually gives birth.
One Tree Hill
Dan was in the house! Well, technically, he was in the big house rocking some serious facial hair. But still, after last week’s episode that was completely devoid all the Tree Hill adults I’d come to love, I was happy to see Dan again. Now, if Deb and Karen would just check in. Peyton’s new music label may be in trouble. K-Fed, really? P Sawyer is losing her touch already. And how about the shocker that Daphne Zuniga’s character is actually Brooke’s mother? I so didn’t see that coming. Oh, and a here’s some advice for “Lucas’ Lindsey”: I wouldn’t get too comfortable in Tree Hill. With Peyton and Brooke back in town, it won’t be long before Lucas is revisiting his old territory soon. Kudos to Nate for shaving his Jesus beard. Now, if he would just cut that hair, I’d be a happy woman. It’s never a good think when your wife’s hair is shorter than yours.
Scott Baio is 46… and Pregnant
If Scott Baio wanted to convince the world he is a giant tool, mission accomplished. Each episode, Baio comes off as more arrogant and selfish than the one before. His pregnant fiancée is dealing with hormones, her changing body, and the stress of carrying a baby, while Baio exiles himself to a different wing of the house to whine about losing himself, while flipping through his vintage Playboys to look at his ex-girlfriends. I’m done with this show. Grow up Chachi! Someone needs to call the Fonz to shake some sense into this immature brat.
Moonlight
OK, what’s up with all the grisly? Yes, I know this is a show about vampires, but decapitating people and holding their heads up for viewing, twice no less, was a little much. The show was too gruesome for me this week. I was happy to see Coraline back, but sadly, it looks like she’s gone again. Beth was still mourning Josh, and Mick was enjoying being human for the first time in decades. Of course, it was only temporary. I just have one request for the Moonlight folks: We need more Josef in this show!
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
DVR goodness and The O.C.
September 7, 2005
To all my friends and family members who’ve I’ve ignored on Wednesday nights, I’m sorry.
Rest assured, I now will be taking phone calls during Lost. And there will be no more hiding, when you ring the doorbell during Veronica Mars.
You see, life, as I know it, has changed. I recently purchased a digital video recorder, more commonly known as a DVR. Or as I like to call it, the smartest machine on planet Earth.
This TiVo-esque little black box, affectionately termed FauxVo, has magical powers. You can actually pause live television for up to two hours, to take a phone call or answer the door, and then pick up where you stopped watching. I know, I always thought the ability to freeze live moments was only a fictitious ability of the Charmed Halliwell witches, too. But, that was before I met my DVR.
You can fast forward through a recorded program with the super speed of Clark Kent. You can record two programs simultaneously, while watching another one live. You can choose name-based recording, and the DVR will find all the episodes of a show, or just the new episodes, and record them, regardless of any changes in program length or broadcast schedule. Take that NBC, the network that commonly lengthens sitcoms an additional 10 minutes to discourage viewers from flipping to another network.
You can search for programs, by actors’ names or by show title or by content information. Want to record every rerun of Friends for the week? Not a problem for the DVR. How about every show featuring Tom Selleck? It’s easy for the DVR.
You can actually watch a 30-minute show in about the same time it takes to microwave a bag of popcorn. OK, so I’m exaggerating somewhat, but you get the idea. It’s fast.
Admittedly, the first few days with my DVR, I had trust issues. I set my VCR as a backup, so I wouldn’t miss Inside 9/11 or the new show Prison Break. But, the DVR didn’t let me down, despite a power outage while I was out of town.
So, call me a geek if you like. I don’t mind. For a small monthly fee, I’ll finally be able to have some peace on Thursday nights, despite the networks’ plans to make me choose between Smallville, Joey and The O.C.
Just so it’s clear, I am not getting kickbacks from Dish Network or any other company to hawk DVRs. Although, if they would like to sign me on as a spokesperson, they can send those checks to Jennifer Biller at Tube Talk.
I am available for personal appearances, even on Wednesday nights now.
The O.C. Returns! - Don’t forget The O.C. 
returns this week. When last we saw the Orange County gang, Marissa had just shot Trey. OK, so it wasn’t’ exactly a “Who Shot J.R.” cliffhanger, but I’m hoping the pampered princess at least gets community service – or therapy. Will Seth reunite with Summer? Will Sandy pluck his eyebrows? Will Julie Cooper-Nichol return to her wanton ways? (I just love saying that name.) It all happens in – sing it with me – “Cal-I-for-nia” at 8 p.m. Thursday on FOX.
Originally published 9/7/05 in The Exponent Telegram newspaper.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Blame Potsie Weber: commercial success
July 14, 2004
Blame Potsie Weber. That ditzy, lovable Happy Days character inspired this week’s column.
Let me explain.
A few weeks ago, I was boring my co-workers with talk of one of my favorite Happy Days episodes. It was the one where Potsie wrote a song to help him learn the complicated circulatory system. Just as their eyes were glazing over, I broke into his catchy little ditty of Pump Your Blood, that I can still sing 25 years later.
Of course, no one knew what I was talking about, which proves just how sad I really am. But I was vindicated a few days later, when out of the TV, I hear Potsie singing the circulatory song in a commercial for St. Joseph aspirin.
The ad got me thinking about other great commercials. You know the ones. They’ve embedded themselves into popular culture with catch phrases that have made the advertised products instantly recognizable.
Remember these:
“Where’s the Beef?”
“They’re GREAT!”
“WHAAAASSSS’ UP?”
“Melts in your mouth, not in your hands.”
“Got Milk?”
“I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”
The measure of a great commercial is that it’s so memorable, it makes us want to buy the product. And boy, have I been suckered more than once. Oh, like I’m the only one who fell for the Clapper and the Chia pet? (Clap on! Clap off! and Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia.)
My first experience with persuasive advertising dates back to my childhood.
Watching the Breck girl fling her long beautiful blonde hair from side to side sent me rushing to the store to buy her shampoo. I was convinced that if I used the product, it would somehow miraculously transform my kinky curly frizzy hair into a sleek smooth shiny mane. No such luck.
Then, there was my fixation with Life cereal, inspired by little Mikey guzzling it down like it was chocolate. And of course, I just had to try Coca-Cola, after Mean Joe Greene traded his jersey for it. But that couldn’t top the grinning Kool-Aid pitcher that seemed to be the life of every backyard gathering. Even my grandmother couldn’t resist the temptation of a good commercial. She used Crisco Oil to make her Sunday fried chicken. If it was good enough for Loretta Lynn, it was good enough for her.
One of my all-time favorite commercials involves a swamp and talking frogs. They mostly croaked “Bud-Weis-Errrr” in between squabbling with the local lizards, Frank and Louie, but it was highly entertaining.
Some other memorable commercials don’t involve talking characters, but some of the best voices in Hollywood. Who could resist Kathleen Turner’s chocolate Dovebar vocals, James Garner’s poetic Chevy ads, and Tom Selleck and Sam Elliot, whose husky voices could seduce me into buying just about anything. Which I would get around to doing, if I could just get Pump Your Blood out of my head.
“The right atrium’s where the process begins, where the CO2 blood enters the heart…”
It’s enough to make me want a St. Joseph aspirin.
Originally published 7/14/04 in The Exponent Telegram newspaper.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
TV shows on the big screen
March 31, 2004
Even movie moguls can’t resist a good 70s TV show. And who can blame them?
Polyester bell-bottoms, feathered hair, and the use of “groovy” to describe just about everything are periodic pieces of pop culture too bizarre to ignore.
The latest attempt to recycle episodic TV onto the big screen comes in the form of detectives Starsky and Hutch. Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson take on the roles of the styling sleuths. And believe it or not, Snoop Dogg rounds out the cast.
Starsky and Hutch isn’t the only 70s TV show being preserved for posterity at the cinema. Paramount is developing The Love Boat, a “broadly comic reinvention” of the popular TV series, according to Variety. Well, I guess it would have to be a “reinvention” in order to work on the big screen. (Hmm...I wonder if Charro is still available?)
Then there’s The Dukes of Hazzard and I Dream of Jeannie. Both TV shows are being made into feature films. Rumors abound that Jessica Simpson is being considered to play both Daisy Duke and Jeannie.
Should TV stay on the small screen? Do the movie adaptations tarnish the sacredness of the original series? Nah. I don’t think so. So what if Drew Barrymore can’t hold a candle to Farrah Fawcett. I’m betting at least some of the masses that saw the silly Charlie’s Angels movies tuned into the original series to see what they’d missed.
There are some shows that would have been great movies. But, sadly they never were. JAG, with its talented cast, could have tackled the timely subject of war crimes. Another gem I’d always hoped to see at the theater was Magnum, P.I. But no such luck. And Tom Selleck is obviously too old to reprise the role now.
Then, there are some shows I hope are never turned into movies. Can you imagine The Golden Girls, The Jeffersons or Cheers holding your attention for two hours? Nope. Me either.
Sometimes, TV shows translate into fantastic films. The Fugitive and Maverick come to mind. But most often, the movie versions are parodies. Remember the mind-numbing Brady Bunch and Flintstones films?
As more and more TV shows make their way to a theater near you, don’t expect a rehash of the classic shows. If you do, you’ll be sorely disappointed. Enjoy these films for what they are: comic spoofs.
If nothing else, they may make you relive some of your childhood memories. A time when your dream was to drive a red and white Ford Torino and to know someone as groovy as Huggy Bear.
Originally published 3/31/04 in The Exponent Telegram newspaper.
