Golden Globes 2005

January 19, 2005

Where’s Roberto Benigni when you need him?

The Golden Globe Awards Sunday were, well, I’ll just say it. Boring. You wouldn’t expect it from a show that featured Mork, Mick Jagger, and Dirty Harry. But there it is.

Supposedly, the Globes are known as the “fun” awards show. Translation: an open bar and tipsy actors letting go of their political correctness for one night. Granted, the Globes have never had the flair of the Oscars, but they usually have enough zest to hold my attention. Until this year.

Halfway through, I was praying for Rob Lowe to bust out an embarrassing musical number with Snow White or for someone to plant a spontaneous wet one on Halle Berry, reminiscent of Adrien Brody. No such luck.

Here’s a wrap-up of the best and worst moments:

• Best inside joke: “William Shatner.” Shatner’s first words while claiming Best Supporting Actor in a TV Series was a hilarious nod to his memory-challenged Boston Legal character Denny Crane, who constantly says his own name aloud in order to remember it.
• Moment I Never Thought I’d See: Mick Jagger wins a Golden Globe for Best Original Song and says he won’t be thanking his children, because he has too many to name.
• Best inspiration to hit the gym: The Desperate Housewives. With the exception of Eva Longoria, they are all over 40, but they inspired 20-year-olds worldwide to put down the Ben and Jerry’s and pick up the free weights.
• Funniest post show moment: Robin Williams offered his take on the Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston split: "Once you've been Achilles, you're vulnerable."
• Sometimes, less is more: “Well, thanks.” Clint Eastwood’s simple, yet endearing, acceptance speech for Best Director. And you thought, “Go ahead, make my day” was meaningful and to the point.
• You were robbed: Julian McMahon as Christian Troy on Nip/Tuck, should have taken home the gold for Best Actor in a TV Drama. The scene where he lost son Wilbur was a two-box Kleenex moment.
• Why couldn’t it have been a tie? Lost and Nip/Tuck are equally thrilling dramas. As much as I enjoy Nip/Tuck, I was hoping Lost would win for Best TV Drama, too. I’m pacified with the knowledge that Lost is in its first year, and there are many more awards show to come. That is, if the “monster” doesn’t kill everyone by summer hiatus.
• No love for Scrubs: Zach Braff was snubbed again. And, I’m still bitter that Dr. Cox didn’t even get a nomination. Sure, Jason Bateman is certainly deserving of the win for Best Actor in a TV Comedy for Arrested Development, but that show has had so much press and critical acclaim, I was hoping Scrubs would finally get some Hollywood love.
• Best speech of the night, male: Jamie Foxx. He aborted the stodgy name listing and went for humor and charm. He even gave a sarcastic shout-out to his small, Southern hometown newspaper, that until Sunday, despite his success, had never had him on the front page. As the award season continues, I think he’ll be making plenty of front pages.
• Best speech of the night, female: Teri Hatcher. Gracious and self-deprecating, Hatcher was refreshing at the microphone. She was genuine, even calling herself a “has been,” reminding the crowd that she couldn’t buy an audition in the past few years. All I can say is Hollywood must be a tough business, if the beautiful, talented Hatcher has to hawk Radio Shack merchandise.
• Worst speech of the night, male and female: All of the recipients (too many to mention) who did nothing but rattle off a list of names. Really, people, you are paid entertainers. Why is it when the world is watching, suddenly you have nothing interesting to say? Do us a favor, come up with something witty, and send your entourage thank-you notes instead.
• Robin Williams: If I’m ever stranded on a desert island, I hope Williams is there. At least I’d die laughing.
• Most welcome return: Joan and Melissa Rivers back on the Red Carpet. Sure, it was on the little-known TV Guide Channel that nobody gets, but Joan didn’t waste any time before making the first of several embarrassing gaffes. She congratulated Monk's Tony Shalhoub on his win last year, although he lost. Hey, at least she wasn’t boring.
  
  Originally published 1/19/05 in The Exponent Telegram newspaper.
  
  

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